Find Your Freedom in Difficult Times

Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD's and PhD-candidates with his topic "Soar With Confidence"
Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD’s and PhD-candidates with his topic “Soar With Confidence”

“You don’t understand. My life is … I mean, I’m bombarded with stress,” my new client Howard said. After an extended discussion, my questions helped him get to the point when he said, “I have a difficult job. I have difficult responsibilities.” These were important statements of truth.

On some level, Howard wanted his wife to shoulder more of the responsibilities of their lives together. But the truth was, it was HIS job. It was his responsibilities. At a certain point in the conversation, Howard told me, “Cheryl’s number one priority is her sanity and her health.” This was also true.

As an Executive Coach, my agenda is my client’s happiness and success. Sometimes, the direct path to that is to face tough truths of the client’s current life situation.

Howard needed to make his priority his own sanity and his own health. The first thing was for him to let go of resentments and to let go of the hope that “rescue was coming.” No. His wife was not going to rescue him.

“What do you really want?” I asked Howard.
“I want to get good enough at this job so that I’m not worrying every day,” he said.
“So, what are you doing about it?” I asked.
“I work long hours,” he said.
“Do you have all the training you need?” I asked.

This question opened a golden line of discussion. Ultimately, Howard decided to get more training.

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – ascribed to Abraham Lincoln

To get training is a great idea. It’s like you’re the axe, and to do well you need to be sharp.

Here Is Your Freedom in a Difficult Time
If you’re waiting for someone else to change, you’re a prisoner.
When you uncover what action YOU can take, then you become free.
Actually, you become free as you take that action.

When you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background.

Now it’s your turn. What truth do you need to face? How can you get training or work on acquiring the habits to make you more effective?

This material is on my mind because I have now opened a special opportunity. When you CLICK HERE, you can go to my questionnaire-webpage and apply for a free consultation with me (limited number available) entitled: “Your Hidden Success Breakthrough – Strategy Session.”

Here are Your BENEFITS of such a free consultation.

  • Create a sense of clarity about the Success you really want to have
  • Discover the essential building blocks for having the Success and Fulfilling Life of your dreams
  • Determine the #1 thing stopping you from having the Success Breakthrough you want
  • Identify the most powerful actions that will move you toward the level of income and abundance you desire
  • Complete the consultation with the excitement of knowing EXACTLY what to do next to create the Breakthrough you truly want

I invite you to apply.

Let’s see if we might get the chance to work together … as a free opportunity to you.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach * Pitch Coach
Spoken Word Strategist


CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
 
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:

 

51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

 

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Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

 

"Darkest Secrets of Charisma" - improve your confidence - book written by Tom MarcouxDarkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

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What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

 

 

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Move Ahead Successfully Even When You’re Criticized

Make 2017 Your Best Year! ... Get Tom Marcoux 's book 'Soar! Nothing Can Stop You This Year"
Make 2017 Your Best Year! … Get Tom Marcoux ‘s book ‘Soar! Nothing Can Stop You This Year”

Do you want real success and fulfillment? Then, learn to handle criticism in an empowered manner. The crucial detail when facing criticism is to prepare your own personal and empowering questions.

  1. Does this person really want good things for me?
  2. What are my personal goals and does this comment strengthen me?
  3. Does this comment strengthen my work?
  4. Does this comment help me learn and grow?
  1. Does this person really want good things for me?

I have an extended family member (a toxic person) who has nothing but criticism for me. He’s older and he’s never been an entrepreneur, author, educator or feature film director. Those are my areas of expertise. However, this person just wants to make me “wrong.” Wait a minute! This is a family member, but his goal is “to be right” and “to put the other person down.” It’s sad really.

When you consider whether criticism has merit, consider the source. If someone is in your target market, that criticism may be useful. However, if someone is merely guessing and has never entered the field you’re working in, assess whether to dismiss such criticism.

Talking to my negative extended family member would be where good ideas go to die. So I often avoid this person. I have a circle of friends and colleagues who are supportive and still provide me with the constructive feedback that may be hard to hear, but their intention is good things for me. I can trust them.

 

  1. What are my personal goals and does this comment strengthen me?

What are your real goals? Do you want to be famous? Do you want to do good artistic work? Do you want to make lots of money? Do you deeply long to express your creativity?

All of the above have different elements attached to them.

It’s important for you to be honest with yourself. What do you really want?

The truth is that I want to serve my readers, audiences, graduate students and clients. So I’m willing to hear tough feedback and learn about areas to improve for my projects. For each book I write, I have at least two editors. They can be really tough and they push me to write in better ways. That’s what I really want. I do not want to be coddled.

So even if my editors might occasionally clothe a comment with sarcasm, I still know that their comments actually strengthen me. After writing 41 books [free chapters visible on Amazon.com], I’m a better writer today.

Also, pause and get access to your own intuition. Often, some people are so quick to judge and say, “That won’t work.” How do they know? And imagine this: If your intuition is correct and you follow your heart—and you succeed—what will they say? They’ll merely shrug and mildly reply, “Oh, I guess I was wrong on that one.” Do not leave your fate to someone else. Answer your own heart’s call.

 

  1. Does this comment strengthen my work?

This is where the real work takes place. A tough comment like “I think that totally fails to engage your target market” may be the best reality check that you need. For example, with a video related to my science fiction franchise TimePulse, my team hit a wall. We needed a paragraph to bridge two sections of the video. I had four people tell me that the paragraph missed the mark. Okay. Back to the drawing board. Eventually, we came up with a solution. With a new approach, we found an appropriate quote to bridge the sections. 

 

  1. Does this comment help me learn and grow?

My team members know that I can calmly listen to any comment that points out flaws in a draft of a project. I’ll often ask follow-up questions. Why? I’m focused on learning and growing as an artist in the various fields I participate in: speaking, writing, filmmaking and art direction of graphic novels.

My point is that a truly creative person must develop a “thick skin” and also run criticism through a filter. Some critical comments have nothing to do with your goals. Let them flow past like leaves on a stream of water.

Other comments which are given to support you and which strengthen your work may raise your work to world-class level. It’s an adventure that is actually worth the pain and effort. It’s a road that includes surprising, happy moments.

Principle: Use Empowering Questions to assess if criticism can be useful to you.

Consider some recent criticism lobbed your way. Use these questions:

  1. Does this person really want good things for me?
  2. What are my personal goals and does this comment strengthen me?
  3. Does this comment strengthen my work?
  4. Does this comment help me learn and grow?

Guard your personal energy and leap upwards to higher levels of success and happiness.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

 

Confidently Connect with People even when You Feel Like You’re Failing

"Darkest Secrets of Charisma" - improve your confidence - book written by Tom Marcoux
Darkest Secrets of Charisma” – improve your confidence – book written by Tom Marcoux

“How can I genuinely connect with people even when deep inside I feel like I’m failing?” my client, Alisha, asked.

“What brings this up?” I asked.

“I feel like I’m not making enough marketing calls. I feel ashamed about that. I even feel scared,” Alisha said.

I next guided her in the process Shift to an Empowering Question. The idea is that we shift out of dark thoughts into new, positive possibilities.

First, I’ll share that successful people I’ve interviewed and those I’ve studied find that just before the breakthrough there is a “breakdown”—that is big trouble. For example, Denis Waitley wrote The Psychology of Winning when he was flat broke. He finished that audio program, and it went on to be one of the bestselling audio programs of all time.

Years ago, some authors wrote: “Fake it until you make it.”

On the other hand, I have something better for you: Act It Until You Become It.

We’re not talking about trying to prevent every negative thought. Instead, we’re talking about Shifting to an Empowering Question.

Use the Power of “How can I …?”
Here’s an example: “How can I take what I learned on that sales call, and do better with the next one?”

I’ll answer that. Write things down and keep notes. For every sales call, you can use what I share with my clients: In a journal, you draw a line down the center of the page. On the left side, write down: “What worked.” On the right side, write down “Areas to Improve.”

The idea is to capture that information. That’s how you’re going to do better.

Use the Power of “How can we …?”
The focus is on “we.” For example, when I guide clients to identify 3 Levels of Goals: Good, Excellent, and Amazing!, we note that Amazing Results require a team or at least connections with other people.

One of my clients applied this “How can we?” process.

She asked, “How can we … get me more referrals?”

That was a great starting point.

In summary, we’re talking about how a negative thought comes up – and your effective response is to come back with an Empowering Question.

Here’s another Empowering Question: How can I take one small step now in a positive direction?

If you’re worried about not making enough marketing phone calls, you ask, “How can I change my schedule?” One of my mentors emphasizes “8 before 8” – that is, 8 phone calls before 8 in the morning. He also says, “5 after 5.” That is, 5 phone calls after 5 pm in the evening.

Remember, when a negative thought comes up, you ask an Empowering Question.

So if you’re about to give a sales presentation or speech, ask yourself: “How can I help these people?” — “How can I listen well and help them know I care?” — “How may I serve?”

You’ll feel better. You’ll go into action.

Once in action, you’ll feel more confident. In this way, you can do better with your meetings/conversations during the day.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
 
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
 
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Don’t Wait for “Motivation” — Get in Action — Make 2017 a Better Year

Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux's book "Year of Awesome!"
Start 2017 in an empowered way! Get Tom Marcoux ‘s book “Year of Awesome!

“I just can’t get motivated,” my new client Alice said.

“Let’s set aside trying to get motivated for a moment,” I replied. “For many of us, it’s just a matter of setting a system. For example, I meditate every day.”

“How?”

“Upon awakening, I set out my candle and my timer,” I replied, “And I meditate BEFORE I turn on any electronic device. This is my system.”

S – set aside resistance
E – energize yourself
T – target 3 Levels of Goals

  1. Set aside resistance

A good system acknowledges that human beings often resist what is good for them.

For example, I eat salad for breakfast. Why? Salad is just not fun for me. Research from Stanford University notes that people’s willpower (like a muscle) wears out as the day goes along. So what helps? Do the tough thing early in the day. I eat salad for breakfast. That is a good system.

Now it’s your turn. How can you turn aside your own resistance? At what time during the day do you have more energy? Will you apply that time and energy to something that you find difficult to do?

  1. Energize yourself

Sometimes a break is exactly what you need to get into action. For example, when I edit some writing, I’ll feel myself “running out of fuel.” So I get up and walk over to another room and get some water.

I return renewed and my brain can offer new, fresh insights. In essence, a break has renewed my energy.

Now it’s your turn. Will you implement breaks in your day? Will you find ways to augment your energy in healthy ways? (Sometimes, a 10-minute walk will help.)

  1. Target 3 Levels of Goals

A good system helps you keep connected with what really moves you—what gets you into action.

Some people are not putting more energy into accomplishing their dreams because their goals are too weak.

To make things work better, I guide my clients to have 3 Levels of Goals: Good, Excellent, and Amazing!

Some authors feel good when they’re selling 30 books a month. They consider selling 3,000 copies to be Amazing! The characteristic of Amazing!-Goals is that they require connecting with others. We can invite others to help us make things happen.

So a good system can include different elements. The author can write blog articles. That can be related to a Good Goal.

Then to have more energy, the author can work toward the expansive Amazing!-Goal. She can call one other author per day toward forming alliances.

One of my mentors guided me to ask for (at least) one referral a day. That’s working toward Goals on the levels of Excellent and Amazing!

Now it’s your turn. How can you include a few tasks which would propel you toward your Amazing!-Goals? Who can you call to start mutually beneficial relationships?

In summary, do NOT wait for motivation. Just set a system and get into motion. Once in motion, you’ll do more and more.

Isaac Newton formulated The First Law of Motion that includes the idea: “a body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion …”

The big benefit of your system is that it gets you into motion—the kind of motion that leads to significant and positive results. When you consistently get yourself in motion each day—you’ll make 2017 a terrific year!

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Be Yourself, Continue Forward Even When People Don’t Hear You

Be yourself -- even when some people "cannot hear you."
Be yourself — even when some people “cannot hear you.”

“I overheard something that bothered me a lot,” my client Amanda said. After a big breath, she continued, “I heard someone at my office say, ‘Amanda said some self-aggrandizing stuff in her speech today.”

A combination of sadness and panic came upon Amanda’s face.

“What did I do wrong?!” Amanda said.

“I’m not sure that you did anything wrong. How about I ask you a couple of questions?” I asked.

“Okay.”

“Did you tell the truth?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Were you making an important point?”
“Yes.”
“Did you talk about something you learned?”
“Yes.”
“Did you show how you went from making a mistake to succeeding at something?”
“Yes.”

Then Amanda’s facial expression changed, and she said, “Oh …”
“Oh, what?”
“I don’t think that person heard my whole story.”
“Exactly!” I said, smiling.

In our discussion, I went onto point out:

  • Sometimes, people don’t hear your whole story. They get stuck on one detail.
  • Sometimes, several people will never align with what you’re talking about. And it’s necessary to acknowledge that fact.
  1. Sometimes, people don’t hear your whole story. They get stuck on a detail.

I’ve noticed something recently. Sometimes, people literally do not hear one crucial word. Just yesterday, my sweetheart made a comment, and a friend, Joe, did not smile at her humorous detail.

I noticed this, and said, “Oh. She just added a funny detail about valium.”

“Valium? Oh, I didn’t hear that,” Joe said.

Sometimes, people actually do not hear what you said. It can be a physical difficulty. Many of us have some form of damaged hearing due to loud music on mobile devices, concerts – and loud movie theaters.

Secondly, some people stop hearing you after one particular detail.

One of my clients, Wendy, told an audience of entrepreneurs that Bill Gates got a $50,000 loan from his father to buy an operating system that he renamed as MS-DOS. She discovered that many people tuned out because they felt that Bill Gates had been “born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”

So the truth is: In every audience, you are likely to find that some people never hear your whole story. They get stuck on one detail, and then hear nothing more of what you express.

 

  1. Sometimes, several people will never align with what you’re talking about. And it’s necessary to acknowledge that.

One of my mentors said, “If you even mention that you wrote a book, some people in the audience will take offense.”

“How?” I asked.

“Just by mentioning your book, to these particular individuals, you’re selling something. And it bothers them. A lot,” my mentor explained.

Ultimately, many of the top speakers in the world get to the point where they flow with the reality that they will always have people who miss the message they’re offering.

“30% will love you. 30% will hate you. And 30% couldn’t care less.” – Gabrielle Reece

I add to the above comment with: “Do what you do. Don’t let it stop you that 60% of the people may not be with you.”

For a speaker, it’s important to serve the 30% of the audience who are right there on the same page as you are. They ARE attentive. They want to learn.

*  *  *  *  *  *

In recent weeks, my client Amanda has learned to set her own criteria for success.

She takes it in that when she gives a speech to 20 people and only two people have critical comments.

That’s 18 people out of 20 who gained value.

That’s good.

No—that’s great!

You can still practice different ways to reach as many people as possible.

For example, I have trained speakers to reach analytical people with a numbered list of methods. I’ve also guided them to have some friendly back-and-forth with audience members so that “relaters” (a personality style) can warm up to these speakers.

Be yourself.
Avoid becoming obsessed that some people did not hear you.
Practice methods to reach a spectrum of people.
Express what you’ve learned.

Do not toss your light under a garbage can just because some people cannot relate to your journey of learning and success.

Again – be yourself.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Use Your Real Power so You Succeed

"Darkest Secrets of Charisma" - improve your confidence - book written by Tom Marcoux
“Darkest Secrets of Charisma” – improve your confidence – book written by Tom Marcoux

“What’s one thing I need so I become truly successful?” my new client Adam asked.

“You need to be skillful about handling fear,” I replied.

Over years of running companies, I’ve learned that fear arises every week. That is, if you’re doing your job correctly in making things happen. You’re supposed to be stretching and growing. You’re supposed to be doing things you’ve never done before.

As an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist, I’ve said to clients: “How can you do anything fresh if you don’t do something different?”

Picture this. You’ll do better if you can reliably shift your perspective on purpose.

Think of your personal perspective as a zoom-lens.

The zoom-lens has multiple settings.

All of us are familiar with “zooming in” which brings something far away, closer to us.

Another setting is “zoomed out to wide angle” – that is, when we can see a wider expanse.

  1. Let’s begin with “Zooming in.”

You can think of an overall vision, and that’s zooming in. As a feature film director, I know that the zoom lens pulls a picture toward you.

  1. Change to “Zoomed Out.”

You also need to see the whole picture – that’s the zoom-lens in the “zoomed-out” mode, giving you the vision of a wide-angle lens.

  1. Focus on something close to you now.

Once, I guided a particular client as I said, “You’re zooming-in on the horizon. But your shoe is untied. So turn the ‘camera’ of your consciousness to your shoe. Take care of what is right here and right now.”

We begin to do better in life by using this question: What is the best use of your effort and time in this moment NOW?

If you’re stuck in fear, you’re probably focused on something dis-empowering.

Shift your perspective. Zoom-in on your overall vision (that is, bring the picture of the bright future close to you.).

The second step is crucial. Change your focus to this present moment.

Ask yourself this empowering question: What is the best use of my effort and time in this moment NOW?

I’ve worked with clients who have a big, compelling goal to work on. Still, they can sometimes feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of that big dream. It’s understandable that the goal feels “So Big!” – and that it is overwhelming.

Here’s what you can do.

Shift your focus to the present moment. What is one small thing that you can do to move in a positive forward direction?

My clients have said that they can do these small actions:

  • Rehearse before making a vital phone call
  • Write up two “if-then alternatives” so they’re ready for certain objections their customer is likely to raise
  • Take a 10-minute walk at lunch time to refresh themselves to be productive in the afternoon

You handle fear by training yourself to shift your focus point so you can be productive.

Now it’s your turn. What can you do in the next 10 minutes that will help you make some incremental progress?

Shift your focus and manifest the life you truly want.

Warmly,

Tom

P.S. A number of my clients use their “zoom-lens” to focus on developing their confidence and charisma. I’ve just released a new version of my book Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words. This book now has 5 new essays, and it has been reformatted for easier reading. CLICK HERE to look inside the book.

Warmly,
Tom

* See my new book Year of Awesome! How You Can Use 12 Success Principles including 10 Seconds to Wealth  (CLICK HERE to look inside the book)

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Use Powerful Methods for Risks and Making Big Decisions

Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD's and PhD-candidates with his topic "Soar With Confidence"
Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD’s and PhD-candidates with his topic “Soar With Confidence”

“It’s hard for me to make the big decisions,” my client Cara said.

“I hear you,” I replied. “That’s understandable. I’ve been listening carefully to your current situation and you have a lot at stake.”

Working with clients, and as CEO, leading my international team members for my own company, I work with people taking appropriate risks.

I recall this quote:

“Failure or the risk of failure could often be a crucial step on the road to success.” – Dominic Randolph

Being skillful about “risk of failure” is valuable.

“The heart and soul of the company is creativity and innovation. … People don’t like to follow pessimists.” – Bob Iger, CEO of The Walt Disney Company

I usually write about having courage and using strategy to take appropriate risks.

There is another side to this equation.

It’s valuable to learn when taking a particular risk is ill-advised.

I use 3 Considerations Related to Saying “No” to a Particular Risk

  • “If It’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”
  • I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.
  • If in doubt, leave it out.
  • Bonus Consideration: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.
  1. “If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”

Years ago, I saw a comment by Cheryl Richardson in one of her books: “If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”

This is useful. Why? Because whatever you decide, you’re going to pay for it. For example, years ago, I directed a feature film in which I played a leading character and I did my own stunts.

I held onto the hood of a speeding, classic, cherry-red Chevy truck going 60 miles an hour.

Would I do that today? No. I’m not interested. Been there, done that. I’m older, and I’m not interested in risking great injury. I’d rather devote my time to leading my team in making six graphic novels of my series Jack AngelSword.

Now it’s your turn. Do you really want something? Is it a total, enthusiastic “hell yes!”? If not, then maybe it’s NOT worth it to you.

  1. “I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.”

Recently, I was offered two big opportunities. Both required that I invest money and time in big proportions. I said to my sweetheart, “I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.” That was an important point! It’s good to listen to yourself.

Now it’s your turn. As you talk with people you trust about a particular risk, how do you REALLY feel about it? Do you feel a burning energy to do it?

  1. If in doubt, leave it out

I’ve made big decisions. I’ve led five companies—plus directing my first feature film, giving my first big speech in front of 700 people, writing a book [I’ve written 40 books now. CLICK HERE to look inside the books.], hiring important team members and more.

Did I have any doubts when I went ahead? I did have a small doubt or two. But during those times, my big, positive burning desire was more important than any fear I had.

On the other hand, a Big, Important Doubt, might be your intuition saying: “Hey! Pay attention to this. Something is OFF here.”

If you have that kind of doubt, “leave it out” – that is, protect yourself and don’t go down a dark path.

Now it’s your turn. Do you have a “Big, Important Doubt”? Is your wish for a particular outcome maybe blinding you to a big downside?

3a. “Bonus”: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.

One particular time, someone invited me to join a business opportunity. When I first heard about the business situation and what MIGHT blossom out of it, my heart filled up with “Oh! I hope this is true — and this works! My life would change so much. This could be my Big Breakthrough!”

It was necessary for me to quiet down my fantasy-thoughts, and take a close look at the whole situation.

I call myself an OptiRealist. That is, I’m optimistic that we can make things better AND I’m realistic to know that strategy is necessary. Another realistic view is that any project can get bumpy or even fall apart. Maybe you could barely hold the project together, but with the wrong people involved, you could waste a lot of your time.

For example, I directed a particular film project years ago. A certain actor refused to re-record certain lines of dialogue. This person was afraid of losing close-up shots. Wait a minute! If the scene does not make sense, this actor would still lose!

I carefully explained the need for the scenes to be re-edited to make the whole film project work. Still, this actor refused to record new lines of dialogue.

My solution: I replaced the voice of that actor through the whole film. I had to fix the scenes. That was my job as producer and film director.

A Special Consideration: Ask yourself, “How much control do I have in the project so I can take action to fix things?” If you have multiple opportunities before you, you may want to focus on those projects that give you a good degree of control so you CAN fix things.

It is realistic to understand that sometimes people will be so self-focused that they may hurt a project.

My point is: Pay close attention. If you’re in a project with trustworthy people, you’ll be okay. If you doubt the professionalism of people involved, it may be time to avoid the deal or situation.

Now it’s your turn. Have you interviewed a lot of people related to the proposed deal or situation? Have you made sure to realize “wanting something to be true does not make it true”?

As an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist, I often work with clients who need to take appropriate risks. How do you know if the risk is appropriate?

One part of the process is to thoroughly submit the risky deal or situation to these 3 Considerations Related to Saying “No” to a Particular Risk

  • “If It’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”
  • I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.
  • If in doubt, leave it out.
  • Bonus Consideration: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.

You really need to get access to your intuition. Some researchers identify intuition as “unconscious intelligence.” That is, they suggest that you really KNOW something but it has not risen to the neocortex of the brain yet.

Pay close attention.
Guard your time and resources.
Then you can get the most value when you take an appropriate risk.

Warmly,
Tom

* See my new book Year of Awesome! How You Can Use 12 Success Principles including 10 Seconds to Wealth  (CLICK HERE to look inside the book)

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Stop Giving Your Power Away!

Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux's book "Year of Awesome!"
Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux’s book “Year of Awesome!”

“That’s it. I can’t do it. I give up,” my friend, Sarah, said.

After an extended conversation, I shared with her, “You’re telling yourself a story—a story that’s hurting you. It’s a ‘death story.’ Here’s what will help you: a ‘life story.’”

In essence, Sarah was letting the life drain out of her eyes. Why? She was caught up in fear. That was taking away her personal power.

What do people give their power away to? I’ve come up with an acrostic:

D – disappointment (fear)
E – expectations
A – avoidance of pain
D – dread of loss of approval

If the above contributes to our giving our power away, what’s on the other side of this equation? What is our power? Choice. You might not choose your first thought that arises. But the question is: What will you choose for your Second Thought?

Choosing your Empowered Second Thought is how you hold onto your power.

For my client, Sandy, the first thought is: “I don’t have enough clients.”

Here’s an Empowering Second Thought: “I’m reaching out to qualified prospects every day.”

This leads to Empowering Questions including:

  • How can I qualify prospects?
  • Where can I find qualified prospects?

Now we’ll face and overcome that which drains life from us:

  1. Disappointment (fear)

Why do we fear disappointment so much? Because it hurts. It rocks our sense of who we are and what we think our life is. What can we do with such fear? Quiet it down enough to keep moving forward.

As I write about InstaMaxPro.com (“Instantly get better; Maximize your life.”) – I’m interested in how we can make a quick shift in our thinking and in our actions. First, “call out” any self-sabotage behavior connected to fear of disappointment. Tell yourself: “I’m strong enough to handle disappointment.”

Some people function under a subconscious-mind banner of “If I do nothing, then I won’t be disappointed in my lack of talent and skill.” We learn by doing. Disappointment will arrive even if we do nothing. I recall Tony Robbins’ comment: “Life isn’t boring; you are boring.”

Do NOT let this form of disappointment creep up on you. Take effective action.

Now it’s your turn. How will you acknowledge the possibility for disappointment and still move forward?

  1. Expectations

Do you expect people to always treat you fairly? Do you always get appropriate treatment? There’s a better plan: Be ready to calmly and effectively work with people to get better outcomes. I saw this recently in a restaurant. One woman received a terminally tough piece of steak. She calmly and pleasantly asked for salmon to replace that “piece of leather.” The restaurant manager was calm and pleasant in return and offered a free dessert and a discount on her meal.

We lose energy to expecting people to be better than they are. Author Eckhart Tolle pointed out that true freedom includes the element of “non-attachment.” Non-attachment is about holding to preferences and not making everything a demand. If a family member does not jump to do a task, see if you can step forward with calm and gratitude for what does work in your life.

There’s something better than “expectations”—Effort-Goals and Result-Goals. You separate your goals into Effort-Goals (like making five marketing calls) and Result-Goals (gaining two new clients this week). You can be proud of yourself for your own efforts.

Now it’s your turn. How will you release yourself from “the tyranny of expectations”? How will you set up Effort-Goals so you are proud of your own actions?

  1. Avoidance of pain

It’s natural to seek to avoid pain. The truth is: Pain is coming so choose what’s most important to you. Pain of disappointment is coming. Pain of loss is coming. Still, you can avoid a lot of pain of regret that you failed to take action!

A number of people lose energy to focusing on avoiding pain. Instead, focus on getting stronger.

Now it’s your turn. What can you do to get stronger? How will you ensure that you have enough sleep and exercise–and good nutrition? What will you drop from your life that no longer empowers you?

  1. Dread of loss of approval

Here’s one of my favorite quotes:

“30% of the people will love you. 30% will hate you. 30% couldn’t care less.” – Gabrielle Reece

This means, no matter what you do, 60% of people you encounter are NOT with you. So do NOT let fear of loss of approval run your life. You could do everything right, and still there are people who will misunderstand you and your good intentions.

Instead, you choose what means most to you and you take action to support your own values. In that direction, you’ll experience joy and personal fulfillment.

Now it’s your turn. How will you go forward from this moment forward focused on what’s best for you, regardless of the negative remarks from family or friends?

*  *  *  *  *  *

In summary, many of us lose energy to concerns over the “D.E.A.D.” elements of:

D – disappointment (fear)
E – expectations
A – avoidance of pain
D – dread of loss of approval

I’ve learned to assess the situation by asking: “Does this strengthen me?”

Certain elderly relatives are so negative and even abusive so I reduce my exposure to them.

Do you need to make tough decisions so you STOP giving your power away?

Instead, identify what strengthens you. Take action to have more of that in your life.

In this way you apply the InstaMaxPro Difference. (“Instantly get better; Maximize your life.”)

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )

InstaMaxPro.com – “Instantly Get Better; Maximize Your Life”

Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux's book "Year of Awesome!"
Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux’s book “Year of Awesome!”

“Why is working with you different than other Executive Coaches, Tom?” my new client Anna asked.

“I call it the InstaMax Difference,” I began. It comes down to this:

  • Instantly Get Better
  • Maximize Your Life

“I get it. InstaMax,” Anna said.

As a trained film director and Executive Coach, I know how to say a few words and help a performer instantly improve a performance. I’m also the Spoken Word Strategist. As a trained screenwriter and branding strategist, I can hear when the words are Compelling.

Think about it. You’re getting evaluated all the time. Wouldn’t you like to have an edge?

My own mentor said, “It’s not just about taking action. It’s about taking *Proper* Action.” That’s why every Olympic athlete has a coach. I know: I’m the Executive Coach to a sports psychologist who has coached over 100 Olympians—including 5 Gold Medalists.

I’ll give you an example:

Recently, I stood in the wings, getting ready to give a speech. I looked at the audience and realized that 90% of them had already heard my energizing story about a speech I gave at Sun Microsystems.

Immediately, I jotted down new ideas for my new opening to the speech. A new opening that I had no time to rehearse.

I wrote down: “I’m in mid-air—going 60 miles an hour.”

Boom! I knew that would be a good, catchy start.

Here’s how my new opening went:

“I’m in mid-air—going 60 miles an hour. I’m holding onto a jet ski. The jetski has landed in the flatbed of a pickup truck—also going 60 miles an hour. Why am I doing this?! Years ago, I was a stuntman…”

How’s that for instant speech-writing?

For more about how I can help you make great speeches/sales presentations … and more, connect with me at tomsupercoach [at sign] gmail.com

Here are my two phrases:

  • Take Command, Focus Your Brand
  • You will achieve more than you believe.

About that last phrase: my clients say:

“Tom Marcoux coached me to get more done in 10 days than other coaches in 2 years.” – Brad Carlson, CEO, Mindstrong, LLC

“Using just one of Tom Marcoux’s methods, I got more done in 2 weeks than 6 months.” Jaclyn Freitas, M.A.

The best to you,

Tom

Tom Marcoux

P.S. When a new client says, “I want to make big things happen, and I don’t know how to do that,” I say some reassuring things. I point out the fact that I broke into three industries with no prior contacts: the film industry, the speaking industry and academia.

I also note that I help people:

  • Create credibility quickly
  • Leverage that credibility

That’s how one hits the ground running!

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
 
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
 
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )