How You Can Leap Up for More Success and Happiness

tomphoto_tiger_pitch_recover

“What’s absolutely crucial to achieve success?” Marina, an audience member, asked me.

“Two things. How you handle fear and how you create energy in yourself,” I replied.

As Spoken Word Strategist and Executive Coach, I recently helped clients manifest more energy and focus to get things done. The truth is: We need to become more skillful and take action.

Improve Your Skills related to Success, Happiness and Fear

In a number of my books, I’ve written about …

“When you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background.” – Tom Marcoux

While I do meditate (briefly) each day, I note that my clients and I just need to get fear to quiet down—and we can move forward effectively.

(Sure, a monk, with meditating six hours a day, may eliminate most fear. Still, I’m interested in working with you in the here and now!)

Unchecked, fear can paralyze people. Fear can suck the air out of the room.

Instead, we focus on generating empowering energy.

This relates to one of my favorite quotes:

“Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear.” – Meg Cabot.

My own wife elaborated on this idea. She said, “Tom, if you were in trouble, and I was scared to go over there—I’d still go over there because you’re more important.”

I immediately gave her a kiss and hug.

 

How Can You Manifest Your Courage?

Focus on what is meaningful to you—something that is more important to you than fear.

Now it’s your turn. Write down your answers to these questions: “What’s most important to me? What means more to me than something that scares me?

 

Let’s Look at the Connection Between Meaning and Happiness

Think about it. Where can you derive empowering energy? It comes from what you find meaningful. (If you do something meaningful, you have a source of happiness and good feelings.)

“High Performers spend more of their time doing things that they find meaningful and this makes them happy.” – Brendon Burchard

I truly appreciate how the above comment emphasizes both focus (on the meaningful) and action. For example, every day, I write portions of my trilogy of novels, Jenalee Storm. This makes me happy.

Perhaps, you’ve noticed that a number of individuals focus on comfort and safety.

On the other hand, have you observed that excited people are stretching, growing and learning? Again, this is about focus, meaning and action—on the path of success and happiness. And, while you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background.

 

Success as a Daily Path

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.” – Jim Rohn

“Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come.” – Dwayne Johnson

I appreciate Dwayne Johnson’s comment because it helps us let go of doubt that we may not have been “gifted” or “born great.” Instead, the successful path is one of consistent hard (and focused) work.

Now it’s your turn. Write down your answers to these questions: What can I do daily that connects to what I find most meaningful? How can these actions improve my skills and move my life forward?

In summary, we’re noticing that success, happiness and fear do relate in certain ways to each other.

Our answer is to take daily action that is Meaningful, Makes Better Skills, and Moves Your Life Forward. (The 3 M’s).

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist
Executive Coach

CEO
Speaker-author of 44 books

GetTheBigYES.com


51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

 

51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

517xnji7zyl

Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

51yx0dowsnl

What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

5-28-17)FINAL2_amazingyouVers6webAmazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme Confidence

Would you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.'” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli

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Use the One Step That Brings Your Higher Success

10-11-17)PowerUpYourBrand_ClientsBUP
Attend Oct. 25, 2017 – FREE Workshop “Power Up Your Brand: Attract Clients”

“I’ve got too much to do!” my client, Amanda, said.
“I hear you. It’s in your voice. You’re feeling overwhelmed, right?” I said.
“I can’t get it all done!”
“That’s true,” I said.

As the Spoken Word Strategist and an Executive Coach, my clients expect me to tell them the truth and cut through the cluttered-thinking we may fall into.

Do you notice these details? …

  • You canNOT get it all done
  • Some areas, you do well
  • Some areas, you’re clogged up
  • A bit of insight does not kick you into action

It’s not insight that gets you off the floor.

It’s a System. Don’t make a big production out of the idea of a system.

Let’s call “system” something else: An Effective Pattern.

Every day, I write. My clients ask:

  • Tom, could you help me with my speech, website and press release?
  • Would you help me with sound bites for my appearances on TV, radio and podcasts?
  • Could you help me write the video so I get sales?
  • Help me write my Online Course, okay?
  • You mentioned that this book needs to be strategically written and positioned so I’ll be speaking at conferences, working with high-end clients and appearing in the media. What do you suggest?

I have no hesitation. I jump in and write. Not because I feel like it. (I often do not feel like writing.) I have a full menu of Effective Patterns so I write immediately.

Now, let’s add an Effective Pattern to your day:

Reduce Feeling Overwhelmed with this One Step

I’ll now share an Effective Pattern (system).

Here’s One Step that will get some things off your scheduleSort your tasks into two categories (I call them “boxes”). Picture that you have two boxes in front of you. Box #1 is your “Consider Box.” Box #2 is your “OTA Commitments box.*”

** OTA stands for “On Time for Airport” Commitment. I don’t know anyone who does not take special care to get to the airport early to ensure they board their flight.

In essence, you choose what you will consider doing at some point, but you’re not going to fret about these things this current week.

You’ll save your precious energy because you’ll avoid criticizing yourself for failing to get everything done.

Secondly, you focus on your most important commitments. For example, at this moment, I’m writing 2,000 words a day (for my 45th book). This is an OTA Commitment.

My clients reduce a significant portion of their workload by making that choice to separate things they’re considering from that which is essential.

For example, I canNOT reach out to everyone I have met who might need my special combination of Spoken Word Strategist/Executive Coach work.

I must focus on my Highest Priorities. I contact first, the most promising people to be a match for me as their Spoken Word Strategist – Executive Coach.

Now, it’s your turn. You can reduce your stress by sorting “stuff to consider” and OTA Commitments.

Answer these questions:

  • What’s most important to you about ______ (your career, your family, bringing love into your life …)?
  • What Top 3 Things can you do this week that will make the Best Difference?
  • What can you “toss into your Consider Box” – and off your plate?
  • What’s in your OTA Commitments box?

Sometimes, I’m working with a client and I have to say something brief to shake the person up.

My client, Amanda, runs her own business. She said, “I don’t know what to do next.”
“You’re asking about your business, right?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Here’s a principle related to keep your good company going.”
“What is it?”
“Go get the money.”

I explain that, during work hours, the thing to do is get the money: Send the invoice, make the marketing call, create your online course, rehearse your speech and so forth.


Focus on The Power of Three

I encourage my clients to focus on “The Power of Three.” By this I mean, identify three most important steps … or three speech titles … or three most important marketing methods.

I’ve seen several other business owners get stuck in a pattern of “Oh, look! That new thing is shiny.” They do a little of one marketing method, get bored, and search for something new and ‘shiny’—the next class or book.

Instead, you’ll massively improve your productivity by choosing THREE, and you’ll avoid spreading yourself too thin.

In summary, the One Step that Brings You Higher Success is to sort your tasks into the Consider Box and the OTA Commitments Box.

Focus! Take action on your Top Three Most Valuable Tasks.

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist
Executive Coach

CEO
Speaker-author of 44 books

GetTheBigYES.com


51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

 

51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

517xnji7zyl

Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

51yx0dowsnl

What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

5-28-17)FINAL2_amazingyouVers6webAmazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme Confidence

Would you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.'” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli

Want the Breakthrough for More Energy and Success?

Relax_sellVersion4FINAL
Tom Marcoux’s new book Relax, You Don’t Have to Sell: How You Can Make Sales Without Being Pushy

“What can I do to keep going? I just feel overwhelmed,” my client, Susan, said. This was the beginning of an extended conversation. The truth is: It takes a mix of methods and experiences so one can renew personal energy and be sure to persist.

Some days ago, I had completed a number of big projects with my team. At this point, I was truly tired. I thought about taking the next day off (since I run my own company, I could make that decision).

The next morning, I had a dream. Three words were clear. Courage, Leverage, Image. The words woke me up, literally. I wrote them down and felt a surprising surge of energy. I wanted to write about these ideas and I felt enthusiastic about jumping into my day’s work.

My friend, when you take action to develop Courage, Leverage and Image in your life, you’ll be able to shift out of feeling overwhelmed.

  1. Courage

“Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear.” – Meg Cabot

Ask yourself: What is more important to me than fear?

Recently, on Facebook, one of my contacts asked about how to write a personal mission statement.

I replied:

“In response to your question, I did some reflecting. I’ve had my personal mission for years. I note that I include: 1) Why? 2) What is uniquely me? 3) Where’s the fun? 4) What’s my contribution to others? 5) Where’s the “magic”? [for me that’s the “Big Dreams” part] … My personal mission is: I help people experience enthusiasm, love and wisdom to fulfill Big Dreams.”

Now, it’s your turn.

What is most important to you? How can you apply that to how you do your work?

This also ties in with something called Authentic Marketing. The idea of Authentic Marketing is that you start with your self and core values. New Opportunity: Sept. 23, 2017 — Sofia University helps you use Authentic Marketing so you can serve more clients/customers:

The Sofia University MBA Program has invited Tom Marcoux to step on campus and teach enrolling Sept 23, 2017 in Palo Alto, California. They are also offering the workshop online.  This is a workshop. You will not only hear about the methods. You will work with partners and practice the methods. You can also bring your current marketing materials (if you have any) and work to improve them. Limited seating (Limited tickets to attend ONLINE)! Get your ticket when you CLICK HERE.

  1. Leverage

We often hear the word leverage in the context of “she now has leverage to take her company public” or “with a list of 100,000 esubscribers, Alana has the leverage to get an agent and a major publisher for her next book.”

Here’s something else that is important: Get leverage on yourself.

The process is: Preset the Trigger Sequence.

A Trigger Sequence starts off with something in your environment. Max comes home and sees cookies on the dining room table. That serves as a trigger, and—boom!—three cookies disappear into his mouth.

We can gain leverage on ourselves by making a conscious decision. For example, I have a Progress Log next to my computer monitor. I keep a log of how many words I write each day. My Trigger Sequence goes as follows: I see the Progress Log and I sit down to the computer and write. No hesitation. I also have an internal trigger: My thought is: “I am a professional writer; I do not wait to feel like writing. I just start writing. No hesitation.”

How can you put a conscious Trigger in place so you get the most important tasks done?

  1. Image

I translate “image” to personal brand. For years, I have trained clients and college students in the 4 Elements of a Great Personal Brand: T.H.O.R. – Trustworthy, Helpful, Organized, and Respectful.

It’s valuable for you to effectively craft the image you project to the world. You’ll get more clients and more assistance when people view you as trustworthy. You live up to your personal brand.

Secondly, your image of yourself can be vital in whether you do what’s necessary to succeed.

For example, I have met people who love what they do, but they hate selling. In this situation, they do not have enough clients. Why? They’re failing to do their weekly marketing tasks.

My heart went out to these people who want to help others but have the “traditional sales” barrier going on. So, I wrote a book, Relax, You Don’t Have to Sell, that provides a new paradigm called The Process of Enrolling. Using this process, people can avoid trying to push or convince prospective clients. This process is refreshing and empowering. People who practice enrolling feel good about it.

When we talk about “image,” we’re also talking about one’s self-image. If you have trained hard to be helpful via your profession, it is a relief to be able to maintain the self-image of someone who helps. The essence of Enrolling is: “Don’t sell–Help.”

 *  *  *   

In summary, focus on three crucial parts of expanding your success: Courage, Leverage and Image.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist
Authentic Marketing Coach – Executive Coach

CEO
Speaker-author of over 40 books

GetTheBigYES.com


51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

 

51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

517xnji7zyl

Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

51yx0dowsnl

What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

5-28-17)FINAL2_amazingyouVers6webAmazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme Confidence

Would you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.'” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli

Hidden Secret of Success

tiger3
Step forward with strength. Overcome Fear of Disappointment

“Something’s holding me back,” my client, Matt, said.

“What are you NOT doing?” I asked.

“I … I’m not making enough marketing phone calls,” he said.

“What’s that coming from?”

“People saying ‘no’ is hard for me to take.”

“I hear you. That’s rough on me, too,” I said.

“I get so disappointed. I know I’m offering something of value. Still, it hurts,” he said.

*  *  *

Have you noticed how some people just quit because they’re afraid of getting disappointed? Perhaps, a lot of that arises from parents and guardians tossing off ideas like: “Do you realize how few people make a living doing that?” or “Well, don’t get your hopes up. It’s only a small chance that you can win.” A number of parents seem to try to inoculate their kids from the pain of disappointment.

This doesn’t work. Hiding from disappointment causes, in the long term, more pain.

On the other hand, I’ve learned to brace myself, acknowledge the possibility of real disappointment, and move forward, anyway.

This is a Hidden Secret of Success: Get into the arena, face possibilities of disappointment and move forward, anyway.

Why? Because my own mentors and role models are those who are successful because they take more appropriate risks than others. Top, successful people confront “no” much more often than those who play it safe in “regular jobs.”

I invite you to enjoy the Power of Overcoming the Fear of Disappointment.

We’ll use the W.I.N. process:

W – wonder
I – intensify
N – network

  1. Wonder

Years ago, a top Las Vegas stage hypnotist shared with me a conversation he had with a designer of stage illusions. This designer said that David Copperfield will work on twelve projects, and two will work out. The designer said that he would work on only one project until it worked. It appears that David Copperfield was succeeding nine more times per year.

When I talk about “wonder,” I’m inviting you to wonder about what you could attempt.

Use the Power of Three
Consider identifying three ways to market something or three projects to work on. Having only one project can create a flood of disappointment when it does not work. However, three projects give you more chances at success. Also, three means that one does not stretch oneself too thin and dissipate one’s energy.

If you devoted a short time to “wondering,” what might you explore to be a project or way to market what you offer?

  1. Intensify

If you know that what you’re doing is going to likely result in disappointment, then intensify your efforts to have more opportunities to present. By this I mean, get in front of more people.

Some time ago, I said to a team member at my company:

If you have one and you lose one, that’s a tragedy.
If you lose one and you have twenty to go, that’s just a step.

In dealing with the Fear of Disappointment, it’s great to use strategy. Our strategy here is to fill the “funnel” with more prospective clients.

  1. Network

Authors John C. Maxwell and Jim Collins write about “who luck.” Jim coined this term, which refers to the old phase about “who you know.”

One way to ensure that you can withstand more disappointment is to expand your horizons. It’s vital to become known as a Hub of Influence. This means that individuals will connect with you because you’re known for being helpful and connected to many people.

Here are two valuable questions to ask a new acquaintance:

  • Who is your ideal client?
  • How can I be supportive of what you’re doing?

In summary, successful people take good care of themselves and make sure to stay strong so they can face rejection and disappointment every week.

Remember to:

W – wonder
I – intensify
N – network

Finally, be sure to separate in your mind these two forms of disappointment: a) External Factor Disappointment and b) Self-Disappointment.

If we do not make our marketing phone calls, we may suffer from feeling disappointment in ourselves. However, we can realize that with more efforts, we’ll have more opportunities.

Recently, I said to a client: “You’re making five marketing phone calls a day. That’s fulfilling an ‘Effort-Goal.’ Good work. And whether an individual says ‘yes’ – that’s often due to external factors. Keep up your efforts, and you’ll feel better. You’ll be proud of yourself.”

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist

CEO/Speaker/Executive Coach
YourBodySoulandProsperity.com (visitors from 98 countries)


51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

517xnji7zyl

Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

51yx0dowsnl

What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

5-28-17)FINAL2_amazingyouVers6webAmazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme Confidence

Would you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.'” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli

Use the Power of “Call It Out” – Expand Your Success

5-28-17)FINAL2_amazingyouVersion6
Tom Marcoux ‘s book Amazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme Confidence

“What makes the difference between being caught in limits and breaking free to enjoy success?” my client, Andrea, asked.

“I’ve learned that successful people are willing to face important details,” I began. “My phrase is: Use the power of ‘Call It Out.’”

“Call out what?”

To stretch ourselves and create success on a scale beyond anything we’ve known, we call out the following:

  • Where you feel fear
  • Where you need courage
  • A bad pattern in a friendship
  • Areas you need coaching
  • What requires your discipline
  • Where you need awareness

The truth is: You can’t fix something if you’re not aware of it.

In working with clients, I hear limiting beliefs emphasized by individuals.

“I’m not good with words,” Susan says.

“Do you want to get better with words?” I ask.

Later in the conversation, I find my intuition calls on me to ask her, “If you developed skill with words, what would you have to give up?”

I watched her face. Her eyes opened wide, and finally she said, “I’d have to actually apply myself and try new things in a marketing plan.”

“Is there some type of fear connected to that?” I asked.

“I might lose money, if I run a marketing campaign that fails,” Susan said.

“Okay! We can work with that. We’ll test aspects of a marketing campaign before you invest money in it. Still, you have a New Story. You’re getting better with words,” I said.

The Real Step to Freeing You to Rise to Tremendous Success

My phrase is: Face it, flip it, forward it. (Do this process and free yourself for tremendous success.)

When you call out what holds you back, you’re facing necessary details.

Then you can change your approach or flip it.

Then you can move your life forward.

About a year ago, I had the choice to contact someone in a company. Would I start at the top or would I start with an underling?

I called it out: “It will take my courage and strategy to contact the top person at that company.”

I strategized my approach, and then I made the phone call.

I was surprised that the guy answered his own phone. (It was after hours.)

I was proud of myself. Think about times when you have been proud of yourself.

Similarly, I guide my clients (and readers!) to do that which calls for courage.

You’ll enjoy success that exceeds your first imaginings.

How great!

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist

CEO/Speaker/Executive Coach
author of 43 books – so far 🙂

new book: Amazing You (Look inside this book – CLICK HERE
YourBodySoulandProsperity.com (visitors from 98 countries)


51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

517xnji7zyl

Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

51yx0dowsnl

What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

Handle Fear and Create Your Better Life

BigYESOnlineCourse“Tell me something I need to know about handling fear,” my client Ted said.

“Based on our conversation so far, I have a powerful process that can help you take your business to a higher level. For many of us, fear is subtle. It’s beneath the surface. We just seem  too busy to do certain things. For example, how are your marketing calls going?”

“They are not going. I just can’t make time for them,” Ted said.

“I hear you. When I started my first business, I called myself a ‘little fire truck.’ Putting out fires here and there. But I was stuck in a rut. I later realized (through good coaching) that I was letting fear hold me back,” I said.

“How?”

“I was afraid of disappointment. I was afraid of disappointing my sweetheart. I was afraid of disappointing myself. So, what did I do? It was more about what I did NOT do. To rise to another level, you need to do things that make you uncomfortable. Things that are outside your comfort zone. A number of people just ignore the whole thing. For example, they do not have specific goals about making marketing phone calls. I’ve learned this truth: What you dread, gets you ahead,” I said.

“Let’s work on this together,” I continued. “To release you from hesitation caused by fear, we’re going to talk about Setting Goals on 3 Levels: Good, Excellent and Amazing! So, in one day, what would be an Amazing! number of marketing phone calls for you to make?”

“15.”

“So that’s Amazing! What would be a ‘good’ number of calls?”

“5.”

“Are you sure you could make five calls during the day?”

“I’m not sure.”

“How about two phone calls?” I asked.

“Two? Sure, I could do that,” Ted said.

“Good to hear. So, two phone calls is at your ‘Good’ level,” I said.

“I’m not sure that two is Good,” Ted said.

“Two is better than zero,” I said.

Ted smiled. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“Here’s the helpful detail. Anything over 2 phone calls is on the ‘Excellent’ Level.” This is how you can have Excellent Days.”

*  *  *

Here’s a special note: When you set the action to achieve “Good” at a modest level, you avoid disappointing yourself! That’s important. Why? Many of us naturally tend to avoid what hurts. Self-Disappointment hurts a lot. Many of us are, subconsciously, making lots of efforts to avoid the pain of self-disappointment.

Let’s face it. Many of us hold great fear about disappointment. So we live a lesser life. No more of that! 

Use this process of Good-Excellent-Amazing! to get out of a rut.

Working with clients, I note that each client can become stronger to handle what I call the External Factor Disappointment. Sure, it hurts when a prospective client says a final and firm ‘No.’ One solution is to get in front of more good prospective clients. I said to a team member:

“If you hear ‘No’ from one and you only have one—it’s a tragedy.
If you hear ‘No’ and you have twenty to go, ‘No’ is just a step.”

In summary:

  • Set your goals on the Good – Excellent – Amazing! Levels
  • Acknowledge when subconscious fear may be slowing you down.
  • Become skilled at taking action and remember: “Better than Zero!”

Realize that setting goals on the Amazing! level is a process to expand your thinking.

To expand your thinking, consider taking my online course: “Get The Big YES: Use Extreme Confidence to Get Clients and Get It Done!” New 6-week Session begins May 15, 2017.

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist

CEO/Speaker/Executive Coach
YourBodySoulandProsperity.com (visitors from 94 countries)


51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

517xnji7zyl

Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

51yx0dowsnl

What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

Use the Most Important Thing for YOUR Great New Year!

YearOfAwesome3Web
Make 2017 your Great New Year: Use Tom Marcoux ‘s book “Year of Awesome!

“Tell me one thing that will make my year better,” said Jenny, a person next to me on a flight to San Francisco.

I smiled. That’s a usual approach of harried business people. “I can answer that in six words: ‘Think new thoughts; do new things.’”

How? It comes down to one method that I use often in my work as an Executive Coach, Pitch Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist. My clients rely on me to ask the timely, compelling questions to help them expand their thinking and get into effective action.

We’ll explore 5 Powerful Questions for Your Great New Year:

[Be sure to write your answers in a journal or via your smartphone. Write it and live it—then enjoy it. That is, really enjoy your life.]

  1. What are you afraid of?

Let’s face the truth together. Fear is part of the successful path. It’s here at this moment.

Here’s my view: When you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background.

Write down what you fear, and it feels smaller. Then quickly write your responses to this question: What Are 10 Ways I Can Move Forward? Pause. What does your gut or intuition pull you to do today? Take a step forward based on your positive intentions.

  1. What wish would you ask for?

Several people I’ve talked with have shut down their own imagination. They will not even consider something great, big and new for their lives. Sure, they do not know how they can do something big and different. That’s not the first task. The first task is to consult your heart and find out what you really want. For example, one of my big dreams is that Disney will buy my company some years from now and that they continue my entertainment franchise Jack AngelSword beyond my lifespan. Do I know all the steps between now and when Disney continues my work? No. But I do know what I’d like to see happen.

How about you? What would you wish for?

  1. Where can you get help?

Someone can help you leap to higher levels of success and happiness. A coach. A co-worker. A new contact who introduces you to a key person to raise your game.

  1. What can you do differently? How will you measure it?

You want something better in life—do something differently. Your previous actions have gained you what you have in this moment. Try something new. Take an appropriate risk.

For years, I wrote books that included ways people could improve their lives–including meditation. I had to admit that I was not meditating regularly. Then I did something different: I did a session for 3 minutes in the morning before turning on any electronic device. Since that time, I’ve been doing my morning session for months. I feel better! That is a benefit from doing something different.

Measure your progress. Ned, one of my clients, logs how many words he writes each day for his first book.

  1. How can you improve relationships?

Are you doing things that support your various relationships—business and personal? The opportunities you want relate to people you know and ones you have not met yet. Often, I ask, “How can I be supportive of what you’re doing?”

If you want to build a positive, supportive network of contacts, you need to be proactive in how you support and encourage other people. Start today.

 

In summary, we’re talking about using Powerful Questions so you can create a map to make this New Year better!

Take a step forward today.

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
Author of What the Rich Don’t Say About Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Free Yourself from Fear

ThePowerOfConfidence(forweb
Free Yourself from Fear — use methods in Tom Marcoux ‘s book The Power of Confidence

“What keeps people stuck?” my friend Anita asked.

Fear keeps people stuck in many situations,” I replied.

“Is it really possible to release ourselves from fear?” she asked.

Now, we’re stepping into areas of philosophy and practical ways to raise our levels of success and fulfillment.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Jack Canfield

From interviewing successful people, I’ve learned that they have certain patterns in place in how they approach problems and situations. They certainly feel fear, but they do not let fear paralyze them.

Some people don’t like change, but you need to embrace change if the alternative is disaster.
  Elon Musk

The path out of fear-based paralysis is change.

How do we do that? I’ve learned that you can just sit there and something will likely push you and the consequences may be truly painful.

However, the empowered state of being is to make choices. I’ve learned that it helps to condition oneself to take an empowered stance when dealing with fear.

To Free Yourself from Fear, Use this Pattern: Face it –> Flip it –> Forward it

  1. Face it.

Name it. Call it out. When we allow fear to hide in the dark, it feels bigger. However, if you name the fear, you can use that step as the start for ascending a staircase.

With Ned, one of my clients, I started a particular conversation with: “What are you afraid of?”

“We don’t have enough sales. I’m afraid we’re going to go out of business,” he said.

“Okay. That’s a good start. What can you do to improve sales?”

“I don’t know,” Ned began. “Maybe work with a coach on improving sales. Read some books. Work with my team. Interview some previous customers and ask why they bought our products,”

“Good ideas, Ned. So which of these ideas does your gut say is the one to begin with—today?”

The point here is: Ned could make improvements once he expressed his fear and then tossed some ideas on the table.

Now it’s your turn. What are you afraid of? Write this down, and then note some possible actions you can implement.

  1. Flip it.

The idea of “flip it” is to turn over or transform the fearful thought to something empowering.

As an Executive Coach, I often help clients open their awareness to new facets of a situation or problem. I often ask a question that opens some expansive thinking possibilities for the client.

When appropriate, I introduce my client to a principle that can help him or her shift to an empowered point of view about a situation. I mention to my clients that I have three hats of “coach, consultant and mentor.”

I’ll now share with you my idea “Mentor On Your Shoulder.” (My further guidance/blog posts are available at MentorOnYourShoulder.com.)

Your “Mentor On Your Shoulder” Keeps Certain Principles Accessible in Your Mind

Here we’re looking at “Mentor on your shoulder” as a metaphor to having someone near you to tell you valuable principles when you need them.

The process is to memorize certain phrases which stand for principles that a mentor would share with you.

Here are examples of such phrases:

a. “If in doubt, leave it out.”

On certain occasions, you can save yourself a lot of trouble, by restraining yourself from certain actions. People often say, “I knew I should not have done that.” When you recall the phrase “If in doubt, leave it out,” you can pause and perhaps, simply avoid some action that could make a situation worse.

b. “No hesitation.”

Sometimes, my team faces “creative stuck-points.” For example, recently, we needed to design a Dragon-character for my graphic novel series, Jack AngelSword. I said, “No hesitation!” and encouraged myself and two artists to jump in and draw a bunch of quick sketches. I’ve found that pressing on can help release one from hesitation, fear or being baffled about what might be a solution. I’ve said, “I’ll find out when my pencil is on the sheet of paper.” This means that I’ll find a solution as I’m actually drawing some sketches.

c. “Better than zero.”

I’ve noted that several artists and others get stuck with forms of perfectionism. I suggest making some form of progress. For example, even just 10 sit-ups a day is “better than zero.” Two quick sketches for a logo is better than nothing on the paper. Often one just needs to get started and then the ideas flow.

d. “Face the numbers and adapt from there.”

Several years ago, I was directing a feature film which called for a dream-related flying scene. The first thing was to consider a conventional way to get the effect done. I faced the numbers: $5,000 for a studio rental and some “wire-work.”

Instead, I adapted. I used a darkened garage, stood on a black tarp, and moved the camera (combined with a fast zoom-in). The cost? – when the image was composited during editing (back then at an editing studio) $100.00.

The idea here is to avoid letting fear shut down one’s thinking. Start with the conventional and then adapt and move out from there.

Steven Spielberg is noted for staying under budget when making each of his films. He made JURASSIC PARK for $63 million. To stay under budget, he cut a scene with the heroes in a river raft besieged by pterodactyls. (That scene finally saw production in JURASSIC PARK III.) Even Spielberg adapts.

  1. Forward it

I’m using forward here in the manner of “move forward.” Take some little step forward. Perhaps, it’s sending out an email to some friends and acquaintances asking for ideas to solve a problem. Maybe you’ll call your team together for a brainstorming session.

Even a simple Google search can help you take a step forward.

When you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background.

In summary, if you’re experiencing fear that’s like a vicious dog pinning you in one place … then use the Face It –> Flip It –> Forward It Process.

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist

Pitch Coach

CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 41 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Author of Soar With Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Reduce Clutter, Enlarge Your Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
and Year of Awesome! (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Use Your Real Power so You Succeed

"Darkest Secrets of Charisma" - improve your confidence - book written by Tom Marcoux
“Darkest Secrets of Charisma” – improve your confidence – book written by Tom Marcoux

“What’s one thing I need so I become truly successful?” my new client Adam asked.

“You need to be skillful about handling fear,” I replied.

Over years of running companies, I’ve learned that fear arises every week. That is, if you’re doing your job correctly in making things happen. You’re supposed to be stretching and growing. You’re supposed to be doing things you’ve never done before.

As an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist, I’ve said to clients: “How can you do anything fresh if you don’t do something different?”

Picture this. You’ll do better if you can reliably shift your perspective on purpose.

Think of your personal perspective as a zoom-lens.

The zoom-lens has multiple settings.

All of us are familiar with “zooming in” which brings something far away, closer to us.

Another setting is “zoomed out to wide angle” – that is, when we can see a wider expanse.

  1. Let’s begin with “Zooming in.”

You can think of an overall vision, and that’s zooming in. As a feature film director, I know that the zoom lens pulls a picture toward you.

  1. Change to “Zoomed Out.”

You also need to see the whole picture – that’s the zoom-lens in the “zoomed-out” mode, giving you the vision of a wide-angle lens.

  1. Focus on something close to you now.

Once, I guided a particular client as I said, “You’re zooming-in on the horizon. But your shoe is untied. So turn the ‘camera’ of your consciousness to your shoe. Take care of what is right here and right now.”

We begin to do better in life by using this question: What is the best use of your effort and time in this moment NOW?

If you’re stuck in fear, you’re probably focused on something dis-empowering.

Shift your perspective. Zoom-in on your overall vision (that is, bring the picture of the bright future close to you.).

The second step is crucial. Change your focus to this present moment.

Ask yourself this empowering question: What is the best use of my effort and time in this moment NOW?

I’ve worked with clients who have a big, compelling goal to work on. Still, they can sometimes feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of that big dream. It’s understandable that the goal feels “So Big!” – and that it is overwhelming.

Here’s what you can do.

Shift your focus to the present moment. What is one small thing that you can do to move in a positive forward direction?

My clients have said that they can do these small actions:

  • Rehearse before making a vital phone call
  • Write up two “if-then alternatives” so they’re ready for certain objections their customer is likely to raise
  • Take a 10-minute walk at lunch time to refresh themselves to be productive in the afternoon

You handle fear by training yourself to shift your focus point so you can be productive.

Now it’s your turn. What can you do in the next 10 minutes that will help you make some incremental progress?

Shift your focus and manifest the life you truly want.

Warmly,

Tom

P.S. A number of my clients use their “zoom-lens” to focus on developing their confidence and charisma. I’ve just released a new version of my book Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words. This book now has 5 new essays, and it has been reformatted for easier reading. CLICK HERE to look inside the book.

Warmly,
Tom

* See my new book Year of Awesome! How You Can Use 12 Success Principles including 10 Seconds to Wealth  (CLICK HERE to look inside the book)

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )