Release Yourself from Blocks — Rise to Your Highest Success

 

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“Tell me directly, Tom. What’s holding me back?” my client, Selena, asked.

“Fear,” I began. “What’s going on with you and fear?”

This began a powerful conversation, which was the springboard for what I’m sharing with you here.

“When you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background,” I wrote in two of my books (including Amazing You). As an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist, I help clients take effective action and expand their success.

What’s so important about fear being pushed into the background? First, you start making decisions that are NOT fear-based. Good for you!

Second, courage becomes your path of having both joy and a fulfilling life journey.

“Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear.” – Meg Cabot

I recently shared with my own coach the four values that mean a lot to me: Love, Freedom, Creativity and Contribution.

These Four Values are more important to me than fear. Each week, as I take action to honor these Four Values, I face fear. I’ve learned from mentors that if you don’t face fear in some form, you’re not growing and stretching enough. Big success and deep fulfillment require that you step outside your comfort zone.

I invite you to avoid waiting for the absence of fear. Instead, become skillful in working with your fear.

We’ll use the O.N. process:

O – open your eyes to true fear, false fear and “the unfamiliar”
N – nurture your strength

  1. Open your eyes to true fear, false fear and “the unfamiliar”

Let’s look at these distinctions. I’m not giving dictionary-type definitions. My target is to give you an impression of three experiences:

True Fear: Fall off the mountain, and you’re dead.
False Fear: Failing with one product ends one’s career.
“Unfamiliar”: Something that feels strange and brings up discomfort.

It’s important to learn to move forward even while experiencing false fear and/or the unfamiliar.

In interviewing top, successful people, I’ve learned that they have become skillful about doing things that “scare them.” We’re not talking about taking unnecessary and, perhaps, foolish risks.

Instead, we’re talking about doing what I call Effective Rehearsal and putting yourself into the marketplace with a new speech, book, product, job resume or something else. Sure, appropriate risk is involved.

Assess whether you’re procrastinating on something because of a valid, True Fear. For example, if you were procrastinating on getting scuba lessons because you’re afraid that at 70 feet down, you might panic and risk your life … that might be a True Fear.

Here’s a “false fear” for me. When I was injured and had to endure a MRI exam, I discovered the experience of the exam was like being placed into a morgue drawer. I had about 1.5 inches above my nose. My heart raced, and I clenched my fists.

After that, I was concerned that wearing a diving helmet and walking on the ocean floor would give me a terrible experience of claustrophobia.

Did I give up? No. I booked the helmet-diving experience. And prior to the event, I rehearsed on dry land. I visualized while I wore a hoodie (sweatshirt) that I was walking on the ocean floor, and I was concentrating on the ocean floor – not the tiny helmet on my head. I call this, for me, Effective Rehearsal.

Yes—I did have a great experience walking on the ocean floor in the Grand Caymans. So I proved to myself that the fear of wearing a diving helmet was a “false fear.”

I invite you to not let “false fear” stop you.

How can you get more information so you can assess whether something is a “false fear”—and you can get coaching to do well?

  1. Nurture your strength

What is it going to take for you to face fear? Your personal strength.

Enough sleep, proper nutrition, and appropriate exercise comprise the basics for your personal strength. Add quiet time (meditation, prayer-time, and so on), and you’re on your way forward.

To be at your best, assess what is true for you. Look at how you devote your time. Sometimes, it’s necessary to look at your friendships and time with relatives. I guide my clients to ask, “Does this strengthen me?”

A relative who consistently belittles you is not helping! Limit your exposure to that person.

Here’s another important point. Take care to develop what makes YOU happy. In one of my favorite videos I made [CLICK HERE for the video “How to Believe in Yourself When Others Don’t], I said, “Measure by your heart, not their approval.”

How are you making sure to guard your personal strength?

In summary, become skillful about how you deal with fear. Real joy and fulfillment are outside your comfort zone.

Focus on what’s most important to you. Take action to fulfill your personal values. I shared that my values include Love, Freedom, Creativity and Contribution.

What are your Four Top Values?
How will you make daily progress?

My friend, the best to you on your journey.

Warmly,
Tom

Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist

CEO/Speaker/Executive Coach
GetTheBigYES.com
YourBodySoulandProsperity.com (visitors from 98 countries)


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This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

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Use Powerful Methods for Risks and Making Big Decisions

Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD's and PhD-candidates with his topic "Soar With Confidence"
Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD’s and PhD-candidates with his topic “Soar With Confidence”

“It’s hard for me to make the big decisions,” my client Cara said.

“I hear you,” I replied. “That’s understandable. I’ve been listening carefully to your current situation and you have a lot at stake.”

Working with clients, and as CEO, leading my international team members for my own company, I work with people taking appropriate risks.

I recall this quote:

“Failure or the risk of failure could often be a crucial step on the road to success.” – Dominic Randolph

Being skillful about “risk of failure” is valuable.

“The heart and soul of the company is creativity and innovation. … People don’t like to follow pessimists.” – Bob Iger, CEO of The Walt Disney Company

I usually write about having courage and using strategy to take appropriate risks.

There is another side to this equation.

It’s valuable to learn when taking a particular risk is ill-advised.

I use 3 Considerations Related to Saying “No” to a Particular Risk

  • “If It’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”
  • I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.
  • If in doubt, leave it out.
  • Bonus Consideration: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.
  1. “If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”

Years ago, I saw a comment by Cheryl Richardson in one of her books: “If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”

This is useful. Why? Because whatever you decide, you’re going to pay for it. For example, years ago, I directed a feature film in which I played a leading character and I did my own stunts.

I held onto the hood of a speeding, classic, cherry-red Chevy truck going 60 miles an hour.

Would I do that today? No. I’m not interested. Been there, done that. I’m older, and I’m not interested in risking great injury. I’d rather devote my time to leading my team in making six graphic novels of my series Jack AngelSword.

Now it’s your turn. Do you really want something? Is it a total, enthusiastic “hell yes!”? If not, then maybe it’s NOT worth it to you.

  1. “I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.”

Recently, I was offered two big opportunities. Both required that I invest money and time in big proportions. I said to my sweetheart, “I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.” That was an important point! It’s good to listen to yourself.

Now it’s your turn. As you talk with people you trust about a particular risk, how do you REALLY feel about it? Do you feel a burning energy to do it?

  1. If in doubt, leave it out

I’ve made big decisions. I’ve led five companies—plus directing my first feature film, giving my first big speech in front of 700 people, writing a book [I’ve written 40 books now. CLICK HERE to look inside the books.], hiring important team members and more.

Did I have any doubts when I went ahead? I did have a small doubt or two. But during those times, my big, positive burning desire was more important than any fear I had.

On the other hand, a Big, Important Doubt, might be your intuition saying: “Hey! Pay attention to this. Something is OFF here.”

If you have that kind of doubt, “leave it out” – that is, protect yourself and don’t go down a dark path.

Now it’s your turn. Do you have a “Big, Important Doubt”? Is your wish for a particular outcome maybe blinding you to a big downside?

3a. “Bonus”: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.

One particular time, someone invited me to join a business opportunity. When I first heard about the business situation and what MIGHT blossom out of it, my heart filled up with “Oh! I hope this is true — and this works! My life would change so much. This could be my Big Breakthrough!”

It was necessary for me to quiet down my fantasy-thoughts, and take a close look at the whole situation.

I call myself an OptiRealist. That is, I’m optimistic that we can make things better AND I’m realistic to know that strategy is necessary. Another realistic view is that any project can get bumpy or even fall apart. Maybe you could barely hold the project together, but with the wrong people involved, you could waste a lot of your time.

For example, I directed a particular film project years ago. A certain actor refused to re-record certain lines of dialogue. This person was afraid of losing close-up shots. Wait a minute! If the scene does not make sense, this actor would still lose!

I carefully explained the need for the scenes to be re-edited to make the whole film project work. Still, this actor refused to record new lines of dialogue.

My solution: I replaced the voice of that actor through the whole film. I had to fix the scenes. That was my job as producer and film director.

A Special Consideration: Ask yourself, “How much control do I have in the project so I can take action to fix things?” If you have multiple opportunities before you, you may want to focus on those projects that give you a good degree of control so you CAN fix things.

It is realistic to understand that sometimes people will be so self-focused that they may hurt a project.

My point is: Pay close attention. If you’re in a project with trustworthy people, you’ll be okay. If you doubt the professionalism of people involved, it may be time to avoid the deal or situation.

Now it’s your turn. Have you interviewed a lot of people related to the proposed deal or situation? Have you made sure to realize “wanting something to be true does not make it true”?

As an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist, I often work with clients who need to take appropriate risks. How do you know if the risk is appropriate?

One part of the process is to thoroughly submit the risky deal or situation to these 3 Considerations Related to Saying “No” to a Particular Risk

  • “If It’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”
  • I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.
  • If in doubt, leave it out.
  • Bonus Consideration: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.

You really need to get access to your intuition. Some researchers identify intuition as “unconscious intelligence.” That is, they suggest that you really KNOW something but it has not risen to the neocortex of the brain yet.

Pay close attention.
Guard your time and resources.
Then you can get the most value when you take an appropriate risk.

Warmly,
Tom

* See my new book Year of Awesome! How You Can Use 12 Success Principles including 10 Seconds to Wealth  (CLICK HERE to look inside the book)

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )