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GetTheBigYES.com … and the Home of Tom Marcoux, Global Speaker & Humorist

Tag: prejudice

  • The Power of Fearless vs. Self-Doubt – Make Better Decisions for More Success

    Tom Marcoux
    TomMartialArts
    Tom Marcoux in a scene on a Hollywood street.

    “It’s so hard to decide in this situation,” my client, Jennifer, said.

    “What’s holding you back?” I asked.

    “I think … it’s probably self-doubt. Or fear,” she said.

    “Self-doubt and fear are really connected. Would you like to be fearless?”

    “Is that possible?” she asked.

    I’ve given a lot of thought to the idea of “fearless.” For many of us, it’s not about eliminating fear. It’s about quieting down fear so it’s just a member of the committee, and your true self is running the show.

    I’m now sharing the Big Lessons that I learned in my new 16 min. VIDEO “The Power of Fearless vs. Self-Doubt” It’s Episode 12 of our YouTube Channel “Introverts Own Your Voice.” Please subscribe. You’ll be supporting me, Johanna and our message.

    You will gain so much because nearly every week we have a new video that will improve your skills so you’ll get that important “yes” you need for your business — to get investors, crucial team members and clients.

    many happy moments,

    Tom

    P.S. Oct. 19, 2018 I’m delivering the workshop “Convince Investors to Fund You – Master the 3 Critical Factors of Pitch, Network and Follow-up” (in Silicon Valley, CA.) (for more information send an email to tomsupercoach at sign gmail.com )

    Tom Marcoux
    Spoken Word Strategist
    CEO – Executive Coach – Pitch Coach
    Speaker-Author of 46 books

    PitchPowerFest.com  GetTheBigYes.com

    P.S. See Tom Marcoux’s 46th Book on Amazon — The Writer’s Solution Crush Your Self-Doubt: Quiet Down Fear, Write Fast, Write Well and Make Money EVERY Month 


    51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

    Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
    “Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

    51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

    Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

    coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

    This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

    517xnji7zyl

    Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

    Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

    51yx0dowsnl

    What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

    You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

    5-28-17)FINAL2_amazingyouVers6webAmazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme Confidence

    Would you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.’” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli

    Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

    Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

    ShapeFuture6Red3-9-18Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro: 3 Skills Every Great Leader Needs to Succeed

    This book will empower you with the 3 Skills every Great Leader needs to succeed: Relate, Optimize and Intuit. Learn to excel as a RoiLeader. The Bottom-line: You need an “unfair advantage” of top communication skills. Use Expansive Thinking to handle Disruption and get out ahead of it. “Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro empowers you with essential leadership skills. Integrity is the foundation of Authentic Leadership. This book helps you lead and retain people who appreciate true leadership and who will excel for your organization.” – Christopher Salem, Host of Sustainable Success Radio Show

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    Sep 6, 2018 6:53 AM
    action bankruptcy bias bully bullying burning desire capital CEO choice clients confidence constructive criticism courage criticism critique customers cynic cynical dead death disaster doubt dream empty enlightenment enrollment error executive coach executive coaching failure fear free fresh funding happiness happy hear humor introvert intuition joy leverage listen listening misinterpretation mistake misunderstanding money movie networking networking event no pain perfectionism pitch pitching power prejudice procrastination productive prospects relationship risk sales salesman selling shift Spoken Word Strategist strategy stubborn success time management Tom Marcoux Tom Marcoux Executive Coach Tom Marcoux Pitch Coach Tom Marcoux Spoken Word Strategist venture capitalist wealth
  • Overcome the #1 Problem for Introverts and Networking

    Tom Marcoux

     

    IntoFormulaGetClients8
    June 11, 2018 Course begins

    “I hate networking. It’s people trying to fake being interested in each other, but they’re all just trying to sell stuff to each other,” my friend Amanda said.

     

    “I can hear how uncomfortable you are about networking. Do you have a guess why it bothers you so much?” I asked.

    “I’m an introvert. I lose energy when I go to someplace where there’s a lot of people,” Amanda replied.

    As an introvert, years ago I found it really tough to go to networking events. Just thinking about going to a networking event had me feeling tired ahead of time.

    Then I learned the solution for an introvert at a networking event. The solution includes thinking it through and then rehearsing it through—in terms of asking certain questions.

    The solution for an introvert is to actually make the most of your Introvert Advantages. (That’s the solution for the Networking Problem of dreading the effort to try to be impressive.) As an introvert, you are likely a good listener. An introvert tends to not interrupt a speaker—as much as certain extroverts.

    Additionally, an introvert will listen carefully and think it through before they express a response. This makes the other person happy. Why? Because they feel heard. (Perhaps, you, as an introvert, are giving them better listening than they get at home.)

    So, The Introvert’s Solution to Networking includes 3 Elements:

    • Change your focus from trying to be impressive to being a good listener. Tell yourself, “I’m going to help this person feel great because I will listen to them a lot.”
    • Rehearse good questions (“What’s one of the best compliments that you’ve heard from a customer?” – “How did you get started in your business?” “What are you looking forward to?”)
    • Provide really good Reflective Replies. A Reflective Reply sounds like: “That sounds frustrating.” – “That sounds like it was a tough situation—then what happened?”

    As an introvert, I want to help other introverts really improve their process of gaining clients.

    So, I made 2 VIDEOS that will help you

    • Use the #1 Secret Introvert’s Use to Get Clients and learn to avoid the 3 Biggest Mistakes
    • Work well with the “money objection”

    Go to https://getthebigyes.com/introverts-success/

    I trust that you’ll want to learn more.

    On June 11, 2018 my online course –

    A 3-week Intensive Online Course “Introvert’s Formula to Get Clients” begins.

    I also created a Special Bonus for you

    “The Toolkit for Closing Transactions at $12,000 or Higher.” —when you register for his course Now. With this special offer.

    Find out more and enjoy the 2 Videos at https://getthebigyes.com/introverts-success/

    No matter what—you’ll learn valuable methods.

    Check it out now.

    Warmly,
    Tom

    Tom Marcoux
    Spoken Word Strategist – Executive Coach
    Speaker-Author, 45 books so far 🙂
    CEO


    PitchPowerFest.com * GetTheBigYes.com


     

    51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

    Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

    coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

    This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

    517xnji7zyl

    Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

    Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

    51yx0dowsnl

    What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

    You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

    5-28-17)FINAL2_amazingyouVers6webAmazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme Confidence

    Would you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.’” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli

    Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

    Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

    ShapeFuture6Red3-9-18Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro: 3 Skills Every Great Leader Needs to Succeed

    This book will empower you with the 3 Skills every Great Leader needs to succeed: Relate, Optimize and Intuit. Learn to excel as a RoiLeader. The Bottom-line: You need an “unfair advantage” of top communication skills. Use Expansive Thinking to handle Disruption and get out ahead of it. “Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro empowers you with essential leadership skills. Integrity is the foundation of Authentic Leadership. This book helps you lead and retain people who appreciate true leadership and who will excel for your organization.” – Christopher Salem, Host of Sustainable Success Radio Show

    51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

    Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
    “Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

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    Jun 10, 2018 6:05 AM
    action arrogant bias capital CEO choice clients confidence courage criticism critique customers cynic cynical dead death disaster doubt dream empty enlightenment enrollment error executive coaching failure fear free freedom fresh funding happiness happy hear introvert intuition joy leverage listen listening misinterpretation mistake misunderstanding money networking networking event no pain perfect perfectionism pitch pitching power prejudice procrastination productive prospects risk sales salesman selling shift Soar Nothing Can Stop You This Year Soar With Confidence Spoken Word Strategist strategy stubborn success time management Tom Marcoux Tom Marcoux Executive Coach Tom Marcoux Pitch Coach Tom Marcoux Spoken Word Strategist venture capitalist wealth wish
  • Use the Hidden Secret to Catapult Your Success

    Tom Marcoux
    IntroFormulaGetClientsLogo
    The Introvert’s Formula to Get Clients – online course – Next Session – June 11, 2018 

    “You’re wrong!” Susan’s mother said with venom.

    “I’m different,” my client, Susan, replied, firm and steady.

    When Susan later told me how she remained calm and assertive, I replied, “That’s great. You had a great moment there.”

    Susan and I had been working on her rehearsals, preparing her to respond skillfully in conflict situations.

    Similar situations rise up in business when tension is high, and a great leader must respond skillfully.

    Later, I was reflecting on assertiveness and the important difference: An Excuse versus An “Adapt-Step.”

    It’s important for us to note:

    An Excuse stops our progress cold.
    Versus
    An Adapt-Step helps us deal with a tough reality and still move forward.

    Here are examples:

    • An Excuse: I don’t feel comfortable at networking events. (Result: I avoid them.)
    • An Adapt-Step: Networking events cost me personal energy [a tough reality for an introvert]. I set boundaries and stay for only 1 to 2 hours. And I am choosy about only attending the most important networking events for my business success.

    I have been thinking a lot about the “Adapt-Step” because that is a vital portion of my online course The Introvert’s Formula to Get Clients – Next Session Begins June 11th. (If interested in this online course, send an email to tomsupercoach@gmail.com — and become eligible for a discount.)

    I’m an Introvert. There, I said it. I’ve learned to overcome “excuses.”

    Recently, I replied to a client’s question with: “I broke into three industries cold (no contacts): feature film, speaking and academia. Not bad for an introvert.”

    My friend, I encourage you to pause now and use a sheet of paper. Write the headings of two parallel columns: 3 Excuses and 3 Adapt-Steps. Write down three examples from your current life in the 3 Excuses column. Then brainstorm and write 3, 6 or 9 possible Adapt-Steps you could take.

    Successful people I’ve interviewed report that they face fear and personal excuses. Then they transform the situation by listing their next actions (what we call Adapt-Steps).

    They take action.

    I emphasize: Confidence is not comfort. Instead focus on these actions: Get the coaching, do the rehearsals and take action using your next Adapt-Steps.

    Special Note: A special form of an Adapt-Step is trimming things from your life that drain your energy. Ask yourself: “Does this strengthen me?” Then make good decisions. Perhaps, you’ll limit your exposure to certain negative people.

    Warmly,
    Tom

    Tom Marcoux
    Spoken Word Strategist – Executive Coach
    Speaker-Author, 45 books so far 🙂
    CEO


    PitchPowerFest.com * GetTheBigYes.com


    51gjiy0bzvlSoar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed

    Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
    “Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones

    51kgz7eafllDarkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project

    Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus

    coverfromamazonDarkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

    This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter

    517xnji7zyl

    Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)

    Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson

    51yx0dowsnl

    What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better

    You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II

    5-28-17)FINAL2_amazingyouVers6webAmazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme Confidence

    Would you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.’” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli

    Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words

    Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus

    ShapeFuture6Red3-9-18Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro: 3 Skills Every Great Leader Needs to Succeed

    This book will empower you with the 3 Skills every Great Leader needs to succeed: Relate, Optimize and Intuit. Learn to excel as a RoiLeader. The Bottom-line: You need an “unfair advantage” of top communication skills. Use Expansive Thinking to handle Disruption and get out ahead of it. “Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro empowers you with essential leadership skills. Integrity is the foundation of Authentic Leadership. This book helps you lead and retain people who appreciate true leadership and who will excel for your organization.” – Christopher Salem, Host of Sustainable Success Radio Show

     

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    Apr 10, 2018 4:02 AM
    action Amazing You approval bankruptcy bias budget bullying burning desire capital CEO choice choose clients confidence constructive criticism courage criticism critique customers cynic cynical dead death disaster do something doubt dream empty enlightenment enrollment error failure fear free freedom fresh funding get clients Get It Done happiness happy hear introvert intuition joy leverage listen listening misinterpretation mistake misunderstanding money networking networking event no pain perfect perfectionism pitch pitching power prejudice procrastination productive prospects reliable risk sales selling Shape the Future Lead Like a Pro shift Soar Nothing Can Stop You This Year Soar With Confidence strategy stubborn success The Introvert’s Formula to Get Clients time management Tom Marcoux Tom Marcoux Executive Coach Tom Marcoux Pitch Coach Tom Marcoux Spoken Word Strategist Tom Marcoux’s Amazing You venture capitalist wealth
  • Be Yourself, Continue Forward Even When People Don’t Hear You

    Tom Marcoux
    Be yourself -- even when some people "cannot hear you."
    Be yourself — even when some people “cannot hear you.”

    “I overheard something that bothered me a lot,” my client Amanda said. After a big breath, she continued, “I heard someone at my office say, ‘Amanda said some self-aggrandizing stuff in her speech today.”

    A combination of sadness and panic came upon Amanda’s face.

    “What did I do wrong?!” Amanda said.

    “I’m not sure that you did anything wrong. How about I ask you a couple of questions?” I asked.

    “Okay.”

    “Did you tell the truth?” I asked.
    “Yes.”
    “Were you making an important point?”
    “Yes.”
    “Did you talk about something you learned?”
    “Yes.”
    “Did you show how you went from making a mistake to succeeding at something?”
    “Yes.”

    Then Amanda’s facial expression changed, and she said, “Oh …”
    “Oh, what?”
    “I don’t think that person heard my whole story.”
    “Exactly!” I said, smiling.

    In our discussion, I went onto point out:

    • Sometimes, people don’t hear your whole story. They get stuck on one detail.
    • Sometimes, several people will never align with what you’re talking about. And it’s necessary to acknowledge that fact.
    1. Sometimes, people don’t hear your whole story. They get stuck on a detail.

    I’ve noticed something recently. Sometimes, people literally do not hear one crucial word. Just yesterday, my sweetheart made a comment, and a friend, Joe, did not smile at her humorous detail.

    I noticed this, and said, “Oh. She just added a funny detail about valium.”

    “Valium? Oh, I didn’t hear that,” Joe said.

    Sometimes, people actually do not hear what you said. It can be a physical difficulty. Many of us have some form of damaged hearing due to loud music on mobile devices, concerts – and loud movie theaters.

    Secondly, some people stop hearing you after one particular detail.

    One of my clients, Wendy, told an audience of entrepreneurs that Bill Gates got a $50,000 loan from his father to buy an operating system that he renamed as MS-DOS. She discovered that many people tuned out because they felt that Bill Gates had been “born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”

    So the truth is: In every audience, you are likely to find that some people never hear your whole story. They get stuck on one detail, and then hear nothing more of what you express.

     

    1. Sometimes, several people will never align with what you’re talking about. And it’s necessary to acknowledge that.

    One of my mentors said, “If you even mention that you wrote a book, some people in the audience will take offense.”

    “How?” I asked.

    “Just by mentioning your book, to these particular individuals, you’re selling something. And it bothers them. A lot,” my mentor explained.

    Ultimately, many of the top speakers in the world get to the point where they flow with the reality that they will always have people who miss the message they’re offering.

    “30% will love you. 30% will hate you. And 30% couldn’t care less.” – Gabrielle Reece

    I add to the above comment with: “Do what you do. Don’t let it stop you that 60% of the people may not be with you.”

    For a speaker, it’s important to serve the 30% of the audience who are right there on the same page as you are. They ARE attentive. They want to learn.

    *  *  *  *  *  *

    In recent weeks, my client Amanda has learned to set her own criteria for success.

    She takes it in that when she gives a speech to 20 people and only two people have critical comments.

    That’s 18 people out of 20 who gained value.

    That’s good.

    No—that’s great!

    You can still practice different ways to reach as many people as possible.

    For example, I have trained speakers to reach analytical people with a numbered list of methods. I’ve also guided them to have some friendly back-and-forth with audience members so that “relaters” (a personality style) can warm up to these speakers.

    Be yourself.
    Avoid becoming obsessed that some people did not hear you.
    Practice methods to reach a spectrum of people.
    Express what you’ve learned.

    Do not toss your light under a garbage can just because some people cannot relate to your journey of learning and success.

    Again – be yourself.

    Warmly,

    Tom

    Tom Marcoux
    CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

    Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
    Executive Coach
    Spoken Word Strategist
    Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
    1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
    Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )

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    Oct 5, 2016 6:36 AM
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