“You’re wrong!” Susan’s mother said with venom.
“I’m different,” my client, Susan, replied, firm and steady.
When Susan later told me how she remained calm and assertive, I replied, “That’s great. You had a great moment there.”
Susan and I had been working on her rehearsals, preparing her to respond skillfully in conflict situations.
Similar situations rise up in business when tension is high, and a great leader must respond skillfully.
Later, I was reflecting on assertiveness and the important difference: An Excuse versus An “Adapt-Step.”
It’s important for us to note:
An Excuse stops our progress cold.
Versus
An Adapt-Step helps us deal with a tough reality and still move forward.
Here are examples:
- An Excuse: I don’t feel comfortable at networking events. (Result: I avoid them.)
- An Adapt-Step: Networking events cost me personal energy [a tough reality for an introvert]. I set boundaries and stay for only 1 to 2 hours. And I am choosy about only attending the most important networking events for my business success.
I have been thinking a lot about the “Adapt-Step” because that is a vital portion of my online course The Introvert’s Formula to Get Clients – Next Session Begins June 11th. (If interested in this online course, send an email to tomsupercoach@gmail.com — and become eligible for a discount.)
I’m an Introvert. There, I said it. I’ve learned to overcome “excuses.”
Recently, I replied to a client’s question with: “I broke into three industries cold (no contacts): feature film, speaking and academia. Not bad for an introvert.”
My friend, I encourage you to pause now and use a sheet of paper. Write the headings of two parallel columns: 3 Excuses and 3 Adapt-Steps. Write down three examples from your current life in the 3 Excuses column. Then brainstorm and write 3, 6 or 9 possible Adapt-Steps you could take.
Successful people I’ve interviewed report that they face fear and personal excuses. Then they transform the situation by listing their next actions (what we call Adapt-Steps).
They take action.
I emphasize: Confidence is not comfort. Instead focus on these actions: Get the coaching, do the rehearsals and take action using your next Adapt-Steps.
Special Note: A special form of an Adapt-Step is trimming things from your life that drain your energy. Ask yourself: “Does this strengthen me?” Then make good decisions. Perhaps, you’ll limit your exposure to certain negative people.
Warmly,
Tom
Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist – Executive Coach
Speaker-Author, 45 books so far 🙂
CEO
PitchPowerFest.com * GetTheBigYes.com
Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones
Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus
This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter
Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson
What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better
You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II
Amazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme ConfidenceWould you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.’” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli
Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus
Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro: 3 Skills Every Great Leader Needs to Succeed
This book will empower you with the 3 Skills every Great Leader needs to succeed: Relate, Optimize and Intuit. Learn to excel as a RoiLeader. The Bottom-line: You need an “unfair advantage” of top communication skills. Use Expansive Thinking to handle Disruption and get out ahead of it. “Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro empowers you with essential leadership skills. Integrity is the foundation of Authentic Leadership. This book helps you lead and retain people who appreciate true leadership and who will excel for your organization.” – Christopher Salem, Host of Sustainable Success Radio Show
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