I stood nine feet away from five people who could fulfill my dreams. They had already invested in somebody else’s feature film. That’s why we were gathered at this restaurant—to celebrate the premiere of that other person’s film.
Oh, please invest in my first feature film! I thought.
This was the first time that I had been invited to a Hollywood-type gathering like this.
I didn’t know what to do. I had brochures of my own proposed feature film in my suit jacket pocket. Great brochures designed by the then marketing director of the San Francisco Ballet.
Here’s the problem. I had never directed a feature film. Sure, I had won a special award at the Emmy Awards. I was still unproven.
Second problem—I had no clue how to interact with potential investors. Terrified, I pushed my introvert-self to go talk with the investors. I gave each one a brochure.
The next day I got a phone call from my production budget mentor. “It’s important that we meet this afternoon,” he said. When I sat down at his kitchen table, he pulled out one of my brochures, promoting my proposed feature film. Then, he slammed brochure after brochure on the table. None of the investors had kept my brochure.
Through clenched teeth, my production budget mentor (who had invited me to that premiere event) demanded, “You will write a letter to apologize to my business partner.”
I felt so embarrassed that I wanted to disappear—to melt into the floorboards.
Probably this production budget mentor wanted to teach me a lesson.
What he did was kick my confidence in the teeth.
I felt like … garbage.
I felt like I had done a horrible thing.
My Inner Critic took this incident and used it like fuel to beat me up for years.
Do you relate to this? Does your Inner Critic feed on your mistakes? Does it tell you “you can’t do that, and you’re no good”?
Recently, with my audiences and clients, I often say, “Measure by your heart, not their approval.”
Here I’m going to add: “Do NOT let the Inner Critic run your show.” By this I mean, make your decisions based on your heart—not the fear-entrenched Inner Critic.
To make this memorable, I’m going to express the W.I.N. process:
W – win over the Inner Critic
I – increase leverage
N – nurture your strengths
a) Win over the Inner Critic
I’ve learned from my studies and personal experience that the Inner Critic is that part of you that wants to protect you. But if you give it direct resistance or if you ignore it, the Inner Critic’s interference gets louder.
So what can you do? You have a form of inner dialogue.
Inner Critic: “Don’t do that. You’ll get hurt.”
You: “Thank you, Inner Critic. I’m learning to do this other thing so I’ll be stronger in that situation.”
You win over your Inner Critic by creating evidence that you’re developing skills and doing appropriate rehearsals. That’s what I focus on as the Spoken Word Strategist. I help my clients with their Words – Strategy – Rehearsal. That’s how they can perform at their best in tough situations.
Don’t let the Inner Critic be the CEO of your life. Quiet down the Inner Critic so it’s just a member of the committee.
This has become a principle for me: Don’t let the Inner Critic run your show. Instead, answer your heart’s call.
b) Increase leverage
Years ago, I submitted a book proposal to a literary agent. He called me within an hour of receiving my submission. I thought I was all set. But he concentrated on the marketing section of my book proposal. My hopes were dashed when the agent passed on my book. Why? I had no leverage. That was before I had thousands of people connected to me on LinkedIn, Facebook and other social media. That was before I gave speeches from New York to New Zealand (plus Silicon Valley, CA, Thailand and more). That was also before my 47 books on Amazon.
So, to quiet down your Inner Critic, take steps forward to gain leverage. Demonstrate that you have people who appreciate your work. It’s important to be good AND have a Tribe (a circle of people who believe in your work). Make sure you get testimonials.
If we use Google, we can find numerous examples of people who have built up fan bases via YouTube or even placing a project on Kickstarter or GoFundMe.
c. Nurture Your Strengths
Sure, if you have a difficulty like public speaking, it’s great to get coaching. That’s a process of shoring up a weakness. You can become competent when you shore up a weakness.
Instead, let’s talk about becoming extraordinary and quieting down your Inner Critic.
The solution is nurture your strengths. Then, you can rise to the world-class. Make good choices. For example, if I took the next 10 years and focused on improving my illustration skills, that would not be my best choice. I’d still fail to come close to the artistry of the illustrators who made my graphic novel, Crystal Pegasus, come to life. Why? I’m just not gifted as an illustrator. Instead, I’ve devoted myself to my areas of writing, directing, executive coaching and speaking.
How about you? What are your strengths? What do you enjoy doing?
Nurture your strengths, and you’ll quiet down your Inner Critic. How? You’ll have evidence that you’re getting better at your chosen area. Excellent.
Years ago, I received some coaching from by Richard Carlson, the author of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. I still take action based on what he taught me. He said, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff was my tenth book.” He had editors who coached him through nine books before he landed on his bestselling book.
Again, nurture your strengths and quiet down the Inner Critic.
Remember, don’t let the Inner Critic run your show. Instead, answer your heart’s call.
Go the Next Step and See the Video Ep. 36 “Be Your Strong Self — Quiet Down Your Inner Critic” (11 min.)
many happy moments,
Spoken Word Strategist
CEO – Executive Coach – Pitch Coach
Speaker-Author of 47 books
Soar with Confidence: An Executive Coach Reveals Secrets, Lies and Countermeasures So You Excel Like Top CEOs and Leaders – Pitch, Lead, Succeed
Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones
Darkest Secrets of Making a PITCH for Film and Television: How You Can Get a Studio Executive, Producer, Name Actor or Private Investor to Say “Yes” to Your Project
Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus
Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good
This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter
Secrets of Awesome Dinner Guests: What Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter Can Teach You About Success … (The Power of Your Personal Brand)
Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson
What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better
You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II
Amazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme Confidence
Would you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done!You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.’” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli
Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words
Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus
Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro: 3 Skills Every Great Leader Needs to Succeed
This book will empower you with the 3 Skills every Great Leader needs to succeed: Relate, Optimize and Intuit. Learn to excel as a RoiLeader. The Bottom-line: You need an “unfair advantage” of top communication skills. Use Expansive Thinking to handle Disruption and get out ahead of it. “Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro empowers you with essential leadership skills. Integrity is the foundation of Authentic Leadership. This book helps you lead and retain people who appreciate true leadership and who will excel for your organization.” – Christopher Salem, Host of Sustainable Success Radio Show