Focus on the moment for real Success and Happiness.

As a first-time feature film director, I watched an actor wreck a scene. At this pivotal moment in the film, the character, John, confronts his past and expresses something he has told no one.

But the actor was playing the whole scene with one emotion, despair.

I didn’t know what to do. But then I thought of something. Bringing the actor to the side, I said, “You’re getting the sadness part. You, as the actor, read the script. You know how the scene ends. But the character does not know. At the beginning, he’s telling the story. He’s in the moment. He’s found her — the love of his life — in a refugee camp. So, he feels — ?”

“Happy. Relieved,” the actor said.

“Yes!”

The actor nodded.

“So, you have somewhere to go. Soon, he will lose her. That will be a whole different moment.”

We rolled the camera and ran the scene again.

Afterward, the actor dashed up to me. He grinned. “Tom, that was a great note!”

My chest filled with happiness. That’s how I became an “actor’s director.” It’s also how I became a better leader.

This experience gave me clues to 3 Unexpected Secrets related to Success and Happiness.

We’ll use the W.I.N. Process:

W — Wake up to contentment

I — Intensify your growth

N — Nurture Your Personal Energy Buffer

1. Wake up to contentment

To experience happiness and the energy to do what’s necessary for success, you need to connect with the present moment. The problem the actor faced was not being in the moment. The actor was playing the whole scene with only one emotion, despair.

Instead, when you are in the moment, you’re able to experience contentment. This became so clear when I heard the actor, Tony Hale, say this:

“When I got Arrested Development (TV show)… It was my dream… But it did not satisfy in the way I thought it was going to satisfy. Most of my life I had not practiced being present. If you’re not practicing contentment where you are, you’re not going to be content when you get what you want.” — Tony Hale

So how do we practice contentment? We shift our thoughts back to the present moment. What is good about your life at this moment? See if you can focus on something to be grateful for — in this moment.

Practicing contentment and gratitude enhances your personal energy. From that strong foundation, you can rise and do the strenuous things that support your true success.

2. Intensify your growth

“We are happy when we are growing.” — William Butler Yeats

Have you noticed that the times you felt enthusiastic or joyful were times when you were growing?

At times when I was growing, I felt better. I learned new skills. I explored and followed my intuition. When I look back at directing my first feature film, I know it was strenuous and terrifying at times. But I was happy. I shifted to focus on the present moment. Then I could be supportive of the actors and crew so they could do better work.

The idea we are happy when we are growing relates to the truth that we don’t need to feel comfortable. When addressing audiences from New York to New Zealand, I say, “Confidence is not comfort. Confidence is a toolkit, and you work it.” (Learn more about confidence, success and improving your luck and relationships, in my online course Maximize Your Luck.)

Many people discover they feel exhilarated as they stretch and rise up. You leave the valley and rise to new peaks in life where you see new options.

3. Nurture Your Personal Energy Buffer

Have you noticed that when you have a bit of extra energy, you can do better?

To perform at your best, you need a reservoir of energy or a Personal Energy Buffer. Then you’ll be able to observe things in the moment. You can be flexible and adapt quickly.

People who are depleted can truly feel miserable, and they share it. Some say misery loves company. I add: Misery creates company.

Do what’s necessary for your personal renewal, rest, and recreation. Then you can lead yourself and others to create positive outcomes.

As a feature film director and as a leader, I’ve found that with reserve energy I can guide a team member to shift to something positive and hopeful. This demonstrates the vital connection between success and happiness. When I take good care of myself and nurture my personal energy buffer, then I can be strong enough to lead and to support team members.

In summary, we have three important secrets that reveal a connection between success and happiness:

W — Wake up to contentment

I — Intensify your growth

N — Nurture Your Personal Energy Buffer

When you take action to practice contentment, focus on growth and nurture your Personal Energy Buffer, you open the door to new opportunities. You can act with flexibility. You can adapt in the moment. In that precious moment, you can perform at your best.