“Tell me directly, Tom. What’s holding me back?” my client, Selena, asked.
“Fear,” I began. “What’s going on with you and fear?”
This began a powerful conversation, which was the springboard for what I’m sharing with you here.
“When you’re in action, you’re focused, and fear is a quiet voice in the background,” I wrote in two of my books (including Amazing You). As an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist, I help clients take effective action and expand their success.
What’s so important about fear being pushed into the background? First, you start making decisions that are NOT fear-based. Good for you!
Second, courage becomes your path of having both joy and a fulfilling life journey.
“Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear.” – Meg Cabot
I recently shared with my own coach the four values that mean a lot to me: Love, Freedom, Creativity and Contribution.
These Four Values are more important to me than fear. Each week, as I take action to honor these Four Values, I face fear. I’ve learned from mentors that if you don’t face fear in some form, you’re not growing and stretching enough. Big success and deep fulfillment require that you step outside your comfort zone.
I invite you to avoid waiting for the absence of fear. Instead, become skillful in working with your fear.
We’ll use the O.N. process:
O – open your eyes to true fear, false fear and “the unfamiliar”
N – nurture your strength
- Open your eyes to true fear, false fear and “the unfamiliar”
Let’s look at these distinctions. I’m not giving dictionary-type definitions. My target is to give you an impression of three experiences:
True Fear: Fall off the mountain, and you’re dead.
False Fear: Failing with one product ends one’s career.
“Unfamiliar”: Something that feels strange and brings up discomfort.
It’s important to learn to move forward even while experiencing false fear and/or the unfamiliar.
In interviewing top, successful people, I’ve learned that they have become skillful about doing things that “scare them.” We’re not talking about taking unnecessary and, perhaps, foolish risks.
Instead, we’re talking about doing what I call Effective Rehearsal and putting yourself into the marketplace with a new speech, book, product, job resume or something else. Sure, appropriate risk is involved.
Assess whether you’re procrastinating on something because of a valid, True Fear. For example, if you were procrastinating on getting scuba lessons because you’re afraid that at 70 feet down, you might panic and risk your life … that might be a True Fear.
Here’s a “false fear” for me. When I was injured and had to endure a MRI exam, I discovered the experience of the exam was like being placed into a morgue drawer. I had about 1.5 inches above my nose. My heart raced, and I clenched my fists.
After that, I was concerned that wearing a diving helmet and walking on the ocean floor would give me a terrible experience of claustrophobia.
Did I give up? No. I booked the helmet-diving experience. And prior to the event, I rehearsed on dry land. I visualized while I wore a hoodie (sweatshirt) that I was walking on the ocean floor, and I was concentrating on the ocean floor – not the tiny helmet on my head. I call this, for me, Effective Rehearsal.
Yes—I did have a great experience walking on the ocean floor in the Grand Caymans. So I proved to myself that the fear of wearing a diving helmet was a “false fear.”
I invite you to not let “false fear” stop you.
How can you get more information so you can assess whether something is a “false fear”—and you can get coaching to do well?
- Nurture your strength
What is it going to take for you to face fear? Your personal strength.
Enough sleep, proper nutrition, and appropriate exercise comprise the basics for your personal strength. Add quiet time (meditation, prayer-time, and so on), and you’re on your way forward.
To be at your best, assess what is true for you. Look at how you devote your time. Sometimes, it’s necessary to look at your friendships and time with relatives. I guide my clients to ask, “Does this strengthen me?”
A relative who consistently belittles you is not helping! Limit your exposure to that person.
Here’s another important point. Take care to develop what makes YOU happy. In one of my favorite videos I made [CLICK HERE for the video “How to Believe in Yourself When Others Don’t], I said, “Measure by your heart, not their approval.”
How are you making sure to guard your personal strength?
In summary, become skillful about how you deal with fear. Real joy and fulfillment are outside your comfort zone.
Focus on what’s most important to you. Take action to fulfill your personal values. I shared that my values include Love, Freedom, Creativity and Contribution.
What are your Four Top Values?
How will you make daily progress?
My friend, the best to you on your journey.
Warmly,
Tom
Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist
CEO/Speaker/Executive Coach
GetTheBigYES.com
YourBodySoulandProsperity.com (visitors from 98 countries)
Get the Advantages to take your business to a higher level. Learn Leadership Advantages, Pitch Advantages, and Success Advantages. To Soar with Confidence, you learn and use principles for top level communication to board members, team members and the media.
“Marcoux demonstrates how to “Prepare a Compelling Story that Moves Emotions.” He mentions techniques that he teaches clients for developing compelling Ted Talks.” – Dantalion Jones
Learn the vital skills of pitching your ideas and enrolling others into your vision. Get that “Big Yes” to funding your project. “This insightful book shows you how to zing a curveball right past the parts of the Hollywood exec’s brain that want to say no before you even make your pitch. You will learn what works when pitching, and more importantly, why, so you can get to YES much more often. Buy this book now. Consider it Spring Training before the big game.” – Danek Kaus
This invaluable guide, used by people in 15 countries and now in its second edition, will help you become immune to dark persuasion. Learn to use countermeasures to defend yourself against unethical persuasion and seduction tactics. Break any trance in which a salesperson is trying to get you to buy something not to your benefit. “Learn how to defend yourself against manipulation. Best book you’ll ever read to protect yourself, feel strong and move forward in your life. Highly recommended!” – Dr. JoAnn Dahlkoetter
Imagine dining with Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Helen Keller, and John Lasseter. These seven people share one thing: They’re great communicators. So this book will help you become a great communicator. “Marcoux especially stresses the importance of personal branding, of coming across as trustworthy and dependable.” – Einar Masson
Learn how you can tap into your natural gifts and tendencies to radiate Three Types of Charisma. Discover how to influence people with your words. “Marcoux explodes this myth: Charismatic people always feel comfortable before and during an important event, such as public speaking, networking or some other social event. This book shows how you can feel discomfort but still come across as confident and charismatic.The secrets include ways to radiate all three forms of charisma Marcoux describes as Warm Trust Charisma, Natural Charm Charisma and Magnetic Charisma.” – Danek Kaus
What the Rich Don’t Say about Getting Rich: Work Smarter, Live Better
You want wealth, abundance and enjoyment–yes? Wouldn’t it be great to learn the real strategies that the Rich use to create Sustainable Wealth? This book takes you behind-the-scenes to what really works. You’ll see a lot of myth-busting, and you’ll learn the strategies that get real results. “Tom Marcoux gives you an inside look on the psychology of what it takes to be successfully wealthy in life. It’s more than just taking advantage of opportunity, but also about taking care of yourself. This book discusses a number of strategies that we often overlook when it comes to leading a successful life that leads to wealth generation.” – Barry Adamson II
Amazing You: Enjoy the Power to Get It Done, Get Stronger, Get Credit for It … featuring Secrets of Extreme ConfidenceWould you like to Amaze yourself? This book helps you Get Stronger so you can Get It Done! You’ll learn how you can Get Credit for It! All three elements are crucial so you rise to a higher level of success and happiness. Think about it. If you get it done, but you’re a physical wreck—you lose. If you get things done, but you don’t Get Credit for It—you cannot get new clients. And, you’ll lose your current clients—if they don’t know, in their gut, how their lives are better because you’ve brought them significant benefits. Here’s a secret: You can unleash the Amazing You! Executive Coach Tom Marcoux helps you develop Extreme Confidence. “Tom Marcoux, once again, has written a book filled with practical insights and veteran business expertise that allows individuals to acquire the tools to balance personal and professional life. Tom’s wisdom possesses depth and the experience of someone who has ‘walked the walk.’” – Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli
GetTheBigYES.com 
Leave a comment