“Something’s holding me back,” my client, Matt, said.
“What are you NOT doing?” I asked.
“I … I’m not making enough marketing phone calls,” he said.
“What’s that coming from?”
“People saying ‘no’ is hard for me to take.”
“I hear you. That’s rough on me, too,” I said.
“I get so disappointed. I know I’m offering something of value. Still, it hurts,” he said.
* * *
Have you noticed how some people just quit because they’re afraid of getting disappointed? Perhaps, a lot of that arises from parents and guardians tossing off ideas like: “Do you realize how few people make a living doing that?” or “Well, don’t get your hopes up. It’s only a small chance that you can win.” A number of parents seem to try to inoculate their kids from the pain of disappointment.
This doesn’t work. Hiding from disappointment causes, in the long term, more pain.
On the other hand, I’ve learned to brace myself, acknowledge the possibility of real disappointment, and move forward, anyway.
This is a Hidden Secret of Success: Get into the arena, face possibilities of disappointment and move forward, anyway.
Why? Because my own mentors and role models are those who are successful because they take more appropriate risks than others. Top, successful people confront “no” much more often than those who play it safe in “regular jobs.”
I invite you to enjoy the Power of Overcoming the Fear of Disappointment.
We’ll use the W.I.N. process:
W – wonder
I – intensify
N – network
Years ago, a top Las Vegas stage hypnotist shared with me a conversation he had with a designer of stage illusions. This designer said that David Copperfield will work on twelve projects, and two will work out. The designer said that he would work on only one project until it worked. It appears that David Copperfield was succeeding nine more times per year.
When I talk about “wonder,” I’m inviting you to wonder about what you could attempt.
Use the Power of Three
Consider identifying three ways to market something or three projects to work on. Having only one project can create a flood of disappointment when it does not work. However, three projects give you more chances at success. Also, three means that one does not stretch oneself too thin and dissipate one’s energy.
If you devoted a short time to “wondering,” what might you explore to be a project or way to market what you offer?
If you know that what you’re doing is going to likely result in disappointment, then intensify your efforts to have more opportunities to present. By this I mean, get in front of more people.
Some time ago, I said to a team member at my company:
If you have one and you lose one, that’s a tragedy.
If you lose one and you have twenty to go, that’s just a step.
In dealing with the Fear of Disappointment, it’s great to use strategy. Our strategy here is to fill the “funnel” with more prospective clients.
Authors John C. Maxwell and Jim Collins write about “who luck.” Jim coined this term, which refers to the old phase about “who you know.”
One way to ensure that you can withstand more disappointment is to expand your horizons. It’s vital to become known as a Hub of Influence. This means that individuals will connect with you because you’re known for being helpful and connected to many people.
Here are two valuable questions to ask a new acquaintance:
- Who is your ideal client?
- How can I be supportive of what you’re doing?
In summary, successful people take good care of themselves and make sure to stay strong so they can face rejection and disappointment every week.
W – wonder
I – intensify
N – network
Finally, be sure to separate in your mind these two forms of disappointment: a) External Factor Disappointment and b) Self-Disappointment.
If we do not make our marketing phone calls, we may suffer from feeling disappointment in ourselves. However, we can realize that with more efforts, we’ll have more opportunities.
Recently, I said to a client: “You’re making five marketing phone calls a day. That’s fulfilling an ‘Effort-Goal.’ Good work. And whether an individual says ‘yes’ – that’s often due to external factors. Keep up your efforts, and you’ll feel better. You’ll be proud of yourself.”
Spoken Word Strategist
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