September | 2016 | GetTheBigYES.com

“Darkest Secrets of Charisma” – improve your confidence – book written by Tom Marcoux

“What’s one thing I need so I become truly successful?” my new client Adam asked.

“You need to be skillful about handling fear,” I replied.

Over years of running companies, I’ve learned that fear arises every week. That is, if you’re doing your job correctly in making things happen. You’re supposed to be stretching and growing. You’re supposed to be doing things you’ve never done before.

As an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist, I’ve said to clients: “How can you do anything fresh if you don’t do something different?”

Picture this. You’ll do better if you can reliably shift your perspective on purpose.

Think of your personal perspective as a zoom-lens.

The zoom-lens has multiple settings.

All of us are familiar with “zooming in” which brings something far away, closer to us.

Another setting is “zoomed out to wide angle” – that is, when we can see a wider expanse.

Let’s begin with “Zooming in.”

You can think of an overall vision, and that’s zooming in. As a feature film director, I know that the zoom lens pulls a picture toward you.

Change to “Zoomed Out.”

You also need to see the whole picture – that’s the zoom-lens in the “zoomed-out” mode, giving you the vision of a wide-angle lens.

Focus on something close to you now.

Once, I guided a particular client as I said, “You’re zooming-in on the horizon. But your shoe is untied. So turn the ‘camera’ of your consciousness to your shoe. Take care of what is right here and right now.”

We begin to do better in life by using this question: What is the best use of your effort and time in this moment NOW?

If you’re stuck in fear, you’re probably focused on something dis-empowering.

Shift your perspective. Zoom-in on your overall vision (that is, bring the picture of the bright future close to you.).

The second step is crucial. Change your focus to this present moment.

Ask yourself this empowering question: What is the best use of my effort and time in this moment NOW?

I’ve worked with clients who have a big, compelling goal to work on. Still, they can sometimes feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of that big dream. It’s understandable that the goal feels “So Big!” – and that it is overwhelming.

Here’s what you can do.

Shift your focus to the present moment. What is one small thing that you can do to move in a positive forward direction?

My clients have said that they can do these small actions:

Rehearse before making a vital phone call
Write up two “if-then alternatives” so they’re ready for certain objections their customer is likely to raise
Take a 10-minute walk at lunch time to refresh themselves to be productive in the afternoon

You handle fear by training yourself to shift your focus point so you can be productive.

Now it’s your turn. What can you do in the next 10 minutes that will help you make some incremental progress?

Shift your focus and manifest the life you truly want.

Warmly,

Tom

P.S. A number of my clients use their “zoom-lens” to focus on developing their confidence and charisma. I’ve just released a new version of my book Darkest Secrets of Charisma: Overcome the Lies about Personal Magnetism, Get People to Feel Your Charisma and Influence Others with Your Words. This book now has 5 new essays, and it has been reformatted for easier reading. CLICK HERE to look inside the book.

Warmly,
Tom

* See my new book Year of Awesome! How You Can Use 12 Success Principles including 10 Seconds to Wealth (CLICK HERE to look inside the book)

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

Executive Coach

Spoken Word Strategist

Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )

1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:

Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )

Tom Marcoux addresses Stanford University PhD’s and PhD-candidates with his topic “Soar With Confidence”

“It’s hard for me to make the big decisions,” my client Cara said.

“I hear you,” I replied. “That’s understandable. I’ve been listening carefully to your current situation and you have a lot at stake.”

Working with clients, and as CEO, leading my international team members for my own company, I work with people taking appropriate risks.

I recall this quote:

“Failure or the risk of failure could often be a crucial step on the road to success.” – Dominic Randolph

Being skillful about “risk of failure” is valuable.

“The heart and soul of the company is creativity and innovation. … People don’t like to follow pessimists.” – Bob Iger, CEO of The Walt Disney Company

I usually write about having courage and using strategy to take appropriate risks.

There is another side to this equation.

It’s valuable to learn when taking a particular risk is ill-advised.

I use 3 Considerations Related to Saying “No” to a Particular Risk

“If It’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”
I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.
If in doubt, leave it out.
Bonus Consideration: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.

“If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”

Years ago, I saw a comment by Cheryl Richardson in one of her books: “If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”

This is useful. Why? Because whatever you decide, you’re going to pay for it. For example, years ago, I directed a feature film in which I played a leading character and I did my own stunts.

I held onto the hood of a speeding, classic, cherry-red Chevy truck going 60 miles an hour.

Would I do that today? No. I’m not interested. Been there, done that. I’m older, and I’m not interested in risking great injury. I’d rather devote my time to leading my team in making six graphic novels of my series Jack AngelSword.

Now it’s your turn. Do you really want something? Is it a total, enthusiastic “hell yes!”? If not, then maybe it’s NOT worth it to you.

“I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.”

Recently, I was offered two big opportunities. Both required that I invest money and time in big proportions. I said to my sweetheart, “I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.” That was an important point! It’s good to listen to yourself.

Now it’s your turn. As you talk with people you trust about a particular risk, how do you REALLY feel about it? Do you feel a burning energy to do it?

If in doubt, leave it out

I’ve made big decisions. I’ve led five companies—plus directing my first feature film, giving my first big speech in front of 700 people, writing a book [I’ve written 40 books now. CLICK HERE to look inside the books.], hiring important team members and more.

Did I have any doubts when I went ahead? I did have a small doubt or two. But during those times, my big, positive burning desire was more important than any fear I had.

On the other hand, a Big, Important Doubt, might be your intuition saying: “Hey! Pay attention to this. Something is OFF here.”

If you have that kind of doubt, “leave it out” – that is, protect yourself and don’t go down a dark path.

Now it’s your turn. Do you have a “Big, Important Doubt”? Is your wish for a particular outcome maybe blinding you to a big downside?

3a. “Bonus”: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.

One particular time, someone invited me to join a business opportunity. When I first heard about the business situation and what MIGHT blossom out of it, my heart filled up with “Oh! I hope this is true — and this works! My life would change so much. This could be my Big Breakthrough!”

It was necessary for me to quiet down my fantasy-thoughts, and take a close look at the whole situation.

I call myself an OptiRealist. That is, I’m optimistic that we can make things better AND I’m realistic to know that strategy is necessary. Another realistic view is that any project can get bumpy or even fall apart. Maybe you could barely hold the project together, but with the wrong people involved, you could waste a lot of your time.

For example, I directed a particular film project years ago. A certain actor refused to re-record certain lines of dialogue. This person was afraid of losing close-up shots. Wait a minute! If the scene does not make sense, this actor would still lose!

I carefully explained the need for the scenes to be re-edited to make the whole film project work. Still, this actor refused to record new lines of dialogue.

My solution: I replaced the voice of that actor through the whole film. I had to fix the scenes. That was my job as producer and film director.

A Special Consideration: Ask yourself, “How much control do I have in the project so I can take action to fix things?” If you have multiple opportunities before you, you may want to focus on those projects that give you a good degree of control so you CAN fix things.

It is realistic to understand that sometimes people will be so self-focused that they may hurt a project.

My point is: Pay close attention. If you’re in a project with trustworthy people, you’ll be okay. If you doubt the professionalism of people involved, it may be time to avoid the deal or situation.

Now it’s your turn. Have you interviewed a lot of people related to the proposed deal or situation? Have you made sure to realize “wanting something to be true does not make it true”?

As an Executive Coach and the Spoken Word Strategist, I often work with clients who need to take appropriate risks. How do you know if the risk is appropriate?

One part of the process is to thoroughly submit the risky deal or situation to these 3 Considerations Related to Saying “No” to a Particular Risk

“If It’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no.”
I don’t feel a burning energy to do this.
If in doubt, leave it out.
Bonus Consideration: Really wanting it to be true does not make it true.

You really need to get access to your intuition. Some researchers identify intuition as “unconscious intelligence.” That is, they suggest that you really KNOW something but it has not risen to the neocortex of the brain yet.

Pay close attention.
Guard your time and resources.
Then you can get the most value when you take an appropriate risk.