Stop Giving Your Power Away!

Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux's book "Year of Awesome!"
Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux’s book “Year of Awesome!”

“That’s it. I can’t do it. I give up,” my friend, Sarah, said.

After an extended conversation, I shared with her, “You’re telling yourself a story—a story that’s hurting you. It’s a ‘death story.’ Here’s what will help you: a ‘life story.’”

In essence, Sarah was letting the life drain out of her eyes. Why? She was caught up in fear. That was taking away her personal power.

What do people give their power away to? I’ve come up with an acrostic:

D – disappointment (fear)
E – expectations
A – avoidance of pain
D – dread of loss of approval

If the above contributes to our giving our power away, what’s on the other side of this equation? What is our power? Choice. You might not choose your first thought that arises. But the question is: What will you choose for your Second Thought?

Choosing your Empowered Second Thought is how you hold onto your power.

For my client, Sandy, the first thought is: “I don’t have enough clients.”

Here’s an Empowering Second Thought: “I’m reaching out to qualified prospects every day.”

This leads to Empowering Questions including:

  • How can I qualify prospects?
  • Where can I find qualified prospects?

Now we’ll face and overcome that which drains life from us:

  1. Disappointment (fear)

Why do we fear disappointment so much? Because it hurts. It rocks our sense of who we are and what we think our life is. What can we do with such fear? Quiet it down enough to keep moving forward.

As I write about InstaMaxPro.com (“Instantly get better; Maximize your life.”) – I’m interested in how we can make a quick shift in our thinking and in our actions. First, “call out” any self-sabotage behavior connected to fear of disappointment. Tell yourself: “I’m strong enough to handle disappointment.”

Some people function under a subconscious-mind banner of “If I do nothing, then I won’t be disappointed in my lack of talent and skill.” We learn by doing. Disappointment will arrive even if we do nothing. I recall Tony Robbins’ comment: “Life isn’t boring; you are boring.”

Do NOT let this form of disappointment creep up on you. Take effective action.

Now it’s your turn. How will you acknowledge the possibility for disappointment and still move forward?

  1. Expectations

Do you expect people to always treat you fairly? Do you always get appropriate treatment? There’s a better plan: Be ready to calmly and effectively work with people to get better outcomes. I saw this recently in a restaurant. One woman received a terminally tough piece of steak. She calmly and pleasantly asked for salmon to replace that “piece of leather.” The restaurant manager was calm and pleasant in return and offered a free dessert and a discount on her meal.

We lose energy to expecting people to be better than they are. Author Eckhart Tolle pointed out that true freedom includes the element of “non-attachment.” Non-attachment is about holding to preferences and not making everything a demand. If a family member does not jump to do a task, see if you can step forward with calm and gratitude for what does work in your life.

There’s something better than “expectations”—Effort-Goals and Result-Goals. You separate your goals into Effort-Goals (like making five marketing calls) and Result-Goals (gaining two new clients this week). You can be proud of yourself for your own efforts.

Now it’s your turn. How will you release yourself from “the tyranny of expectations”? How will you set up Effort-Goals so you are proud of your own actions?

  1. Avoidance of pain

It’s natural to seek to avoid pain. The truth is: Pain is coming so choose what’s most important to you. Pain of disappointment is coming. Pain of loss is coming. Still, you can avoid a lot of pain of regret that you failed to take action!

A number of people lose energy to focusing on avoiding pain. Instead, focus on getting stronger.

Now it’s your turn. What can you do to get stronger? How will you ensure that you have enough sleep and exercise–and good nutrition? What will you drop from your life that no longer empowers you?

  1. Dread of loss of approval

Here’s one of my favorite quotes:

“30% of the people will love you. 30% will hate you. 30% couldn’t care less.” – Gabrielle Reece

This means, no matter what you do, 60% of people you encounter are NOT with you. So do NOT let fear of loss of approval run your life. You could do everything right, and still there are people who will misunderstand you and your good intentions.

Instead, you choose what means most to you and you take action to support your own values. In that direction, you’ll experience joy and personal fulfillment.

Now it’s your turn. How will you go forward from this moment forward focused on what’s best for you, regardless of the negative remarks from family or friends?

*  *  *  *  *  *

In summary, many of us lose energy to concerns over the “D.E.A.D.” elements of:

D – disappointment (fear)
E – expectations
A – avoidance of pain
D – dread of loss of approval

I’ve learned to assess the situation by asking: “Does this strengthen me?”

Certain elderly relatives are so negative and even abusive so I reduce my exposure to them.

Do you need to make tough decisions so you STOP giving your power away?

Instead, identify what strengthens you. Take action to have more of that in your life.

In this way you apply the InstaMaxPro Difference. (“Instantly get better; Maximize your life.”)

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )
Advertisements

InstaMaxPro.com – “Instantly Get Better; Maximize Your Life”

Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux's book "Year of Awesome!"
Powerful InstaMaxPro techniques in Tom Marcoux’s book “Year of Awesome!”

“Why is working with you different than other Executive Coaches, Tom?” my new client Anna asked.

“I call it the InstaMax Difference,” I began. It comes down to this:

  • Instantly Get Better
  • Maximize Your Life

“I get it. InstaMax,” Anna said.

As a trained film director and Executive Coach, I know how to say a few words and help a performer instantly improve a performance. I’m also the Spoken Word Strategist. As a trained screenwriter and branding strategist, I can hear when the words are Compelling.

Think about it. You’re getting evaluated all the time. Wouldn’t you like to have an edge?

My own mentor said, “It’s not just about taking action. It’s about taking *Proper* Action.” That’s why every Olympic athlete has a coach. I know: I’m the Executive Coach to a sports psychologist who has coached over 100 Olympians—including 5 Gold Medalists.

I’ll give you an example:

Recently, I stood in the wings, getting ready to give a speech. I looked at the audience and realized that 90% of them had already heard my energizing story about a speech I gave at Sun Microsystems.

Immediately, I jotted down new ideas for my new opening to the speech. A new opening that I had no time to rehearse.

I wrote down: “I’m in mid-air—going 60 miles an hour.”

Boom! I knew that would be a good, catchy start.

Here’s how my new opening went:

“I’m in mid-air—going 60 miles an hour. I’m holding onto a jet ski. The jetski has landed in the flatbed of a pickup truck—also going 60 miles an hour. Why am I doing this?! Years ago, I was a stuntman…”

How’s that for instant speech-writing?

For more about how I can help you make great speeches/sales presentations … and more, connect with me at tomsupercoach [at sign] gmail.com

Here are my two phrases:

  • Take Command, Focus Your Brand
  • You will achieve more than you believe.

About that last phrase: my clients say:

“Tom Marcoux coached me to get more done in 10 days than other coaches in 2 years.” – Brad Carlson, CEO, Mindstrong, LLC

“Using just one of Tom Marcoux’s methods, I got more done in 2 weeks than 6 months.” Jaclyn Freitas, M.A.

The best to you,

Tom

Tom Marcoux

P.S. When a new client says, “I want to make big things happen, and I don’t know how to do that,” I say some reassuring things. I point out the fact that I broke into three industries with no prior contacts: the film industry, the speaking industry and academia.

I also note that I help people:

  • Create credibility quickly
  • Leverage that credibility

That’s how one hits the ground running!

Tom Marcoux
CEO (leading teams in United Kingdom, India and USA)

Speaker-author of 40 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )
Executive Coach
Spoken Word Strategist
 
Author of Time Management Secrets the Rich Won’t Tell You (See more when you CLICK HERE )
 
1.8 min. video (on YouTube): Tom Marcoux pulls back the curtain about how his directing a feature film that went to Cannes Film market helps with “Building Your Brand”:
 
Author of Connect: High Trust Communication for Your Success in Business and Life (See more when you CLICK HERE )